unspoken truths .

2006-08-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

I have resigned from Blogspot. http://www.ladiemadonna.wordpress.com/

2006-08-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

Freddy, Would you just let it go? okay. For 3 weeks, I had not seen the sunset from my bedroom window. For 3 weeks, I had not tasted my parentals' cooking. Negative/positive? And now. Its over. Hell said hi two days ago and today, at 5pm, I closed the doors on that. Bitching is fun but at times necessary. For all those nightly suppers at Al-something, thank you. Mellie and her balloons. Shah stealing the menu. Joan-sie and her italian accent. Special thanks to G.maine :) and prems. Love u guys man.was not in my best moments but u stood by me. my bestest girls- thanks for just being there. The shit that has happened has a silver lining- what doesnt kill u, only makes you stronger. All I have now is to look fwd to EXAMS... F$#^$% and then, working. :). Yes vie-vie,we will look for a job next tues. After a surprising turn of events for FMSA AGM meeting, I am the activities I/c. Its so much better than Vice president! Farand-Fray is Mcm rep. and shah is VP aka secretariat. Ppl, lets say woo to BOP @ the BEACH. I really love the IBP/IAP semester of Yr 3s. thanks for the help on everything! Its August 2006.i rmb the first day of year 2. seems just like yesterday.

2006-07-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

Im sorry but I just have to. I love u and i dont mean anything by it, its not to further break your rep and shit but i really have to. I made this comment to Bambi- Only in masscomm do you see something like this.Below is 'this'. This is an apology email by a fellow coursemat, MASS sent to a majority of MCMers. I have come to realise that the comment that I made that was posted on the blog "The Media's Horse"(controversial blog abt the true life scandals in mcm) about Kenneth Teng( victim & fellow acquaintance) regarding his role in the FMSS was defamatory, and I sincerely apologise to Kenneth for the damage done to his reputation. I found out recently that the problems involving him were not his fault, and the post on the blog was not accurate in recounting the situation, which largely falls on me since I gave the quote. The comment was a reply to a question asked on a personal level, and I only found out the author was quoting me after I said what I said. However, I did not act responsibly by asking the author to withdraw my comment, and I will do so as soon as I can get in contact with him. Again, I want to apologise to Kenneth for the great injustice done to him due to hearsay and unfounded facts. *Mr. Boey (social psychology lecturer) please acknowledge you have gotten this email . I realise that I could be suspended therefore killing the momentum i have going for this semester but please take this light-heartedly. i mean as masscomers, lets laugh at ourselves for a change. I bet the teachers are having a hoot about this.

2006-07-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

BayBeats,3rd Day,2006 Ginette, I lap chu! Wow. wow. wow. yes.yes.yes. My salvation was so damned worth it. Come hailstorms,thunderstorms and hissy fits,baybeats has given me the joy and freedom that shall see me through it all. Bring it on loon-spoons. Lina was late. BUT, saved the day after we manage to catch ETC. The drummer looks like Catherine, seriously. Except for the whole drumming and coolness aura abt her. Maybe related? Calerway,first band playing at the arena stage.Security was insane. Move over copeland, I found my new foreign talent. I contributed to their income. I bought a badge. There was this arsehole that wanted to mosh. didnt quite work out,poor dude. Rushed back to chillout stage. Haikel saved us seats and we caught his friend's band,PAGE. 1 of their songs seriously touched me, just cause it was something straight out of a boyz II men song. love song. sigh... Ran Back again to catch Concave Scream( they shoudl really revise their schedule man) Loves em. still no successful mosh. Joan-Sie aka JANE came from her advert group. woo,woo. Be sure to rip that cd from Jowell. NEXT, ladies and GEntlemen, put your mutated hands together and scream like girlie girls. ELECTRICO!! The MOSH came. we were flung here and there and here. Mostly started by the over enthu mats. I had no idea that their congregation was into ELectrico. Turns out, it was just Amanda. Hmm. someguy landed on us, literally landed on us! We had to get out of the spot. plus we were baking, it was a sauna except your IQ gets affected after awhile. I LOVE DESMOND. I love their new songs,hip city my fav.others... We're not made in the USA but you got what you paid for anyway And no gig is complete( under Freddy's law of enjoyment) without my 2 fav kick ass bands Lunarin and Astreal. Nothing like 2 ladies rocking it out on base. Lunarin is taking a break. . I suppose case loads get to you. I will anticipate your return. Speaking of which, some little punk owes me their EP! Argh! Astreal isnt taking a break. thank god. hee. they didnt play this was wallflower though, a couple of other nice songs.Farand came just in time for them!thought the dude would miss baybeats, what an atrocity that would be. No merchandise left-well we wanted the lanyard and poster but too bad. The Posies, sound aight, not fab. Walking hand in hand with my maam editor, we knew shit would be hitting our faces soon. So we did what we could. take photos of the esplanade artwork. 365 days till the next bay beats. Im already counting. More pics at ladieM's_stillshots.

2006-07-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

There is so much more. -somewhere around campus- I decide. im the one who knows whats good for me stating my independence gonna take the road im gonna take i decide. choice is mine & no one gets to make my mind up for me. where I go who i know. Dont think you can ever hold me down. If I mess the whole thing up Its my right I decide taking my own chances I decide choice is mine. Who da thunk a slut could write some shit like that. oh wait, it was diane.

2006-07-11T07:18:00.000-07:00

What are we doing? What the hell do we do to ourselves? Are we monsters with zero ounce of compassion, leeches and whores, self-centered arrogant pieces of crap? Why did we ever think that what we are, stood for, say, even portray is worth a damn thing. To anyone. How dare we assume that the world revolves around us. We act like we have to be worshipped. What makes us so god-damn special? People have problems. Shit gets smeared in peoples faces, sometimes even when they are the least deserving. But IT happens. Grow Up. When we leave, which we soon will, none of this will matter. None of us will matter for that fact. Honestly, is this your lifes greatest achievement? Is this our highlight? If that is all that we are, then damn we are forsaken. You dont matter. We leave just like everyone else, with the same rolled up piece of paper like everyone else. So wise up. This aint a war for freedom, but narcissism. Sometimes products cant help but turn out shitty because the factory is run by a bunch of money hungry fender-benders. Would you like to sue me now? Let it go. Get a hobby. Something that reminds us that we are not all that. just find a part of ourselves that they have yet to be corrupted. Hang on to that. We shld Do this before we wake up one day and realise we dont even know who that is thats looking back at us.

2006-07-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

The Grades Dun Matter I have been fortunate enough these 3 days to have things go my way. Well, academically speaking of course. I went in doing my MRM completely and utterly blind. Thanks Mel for trusting it and going with the shit :). Really made my day. In other arenas, external influences despise me and continue to pull me down. But the day was draggy. Lethargy was a huge part of it. Fell asleep watching a dude in white cooking sorbet. I bought new semi-covered plats,nepalese looking shoes from germaine at 16 bucks. It is gorgeous i tell ya. Little did i know, that was the start of my retail therapy. We hit town. Big mistake. Mango sale, huge sign with reductions up to 70%. called Jaime, dunt know whether she grabbed the tip. IT was messy, piles on the floor. Normal of course. I got something there. Then, we went to Zara. Major mistake. 10 bucks off i got something there. Eva, who used to work there said that the prices were going to drop again next Friday. Wtf. Paul bought a pair of white pants that made his bum, rather flattering i must say. After which, he was so high for the rest of the night. Grabbed Faye's gifts. Not saying what it is what personal and expensive is the way to go. Hung around at BK. Till the shit had to happen. We were trying to get Eva to speak malay and she did and then paul went into his hysterics again. This huge group of minah and mat emos were sitting behind us and making tonnes of noise. They were what, pre teens probably still in their diapers listening to good charlotte and wearing ZA mascara? So then Paul and I wanted to act as minah and mat and I think I was loud or something when one of those butt heads started to address us with like ah lians or just stupid remarks, minimal things. Don wanted to go. I was pissed. Over the past few weeks, Kams and I have been analysing the way the Minahs and Mats operate. Tonight, I tossed all that shit out the door and knew I didnt like them. I felt my IQ drop just being around them. Call me a racist.I hated sharing my blood with them. Tonight was good. tired but good. We are going to storm the heartlands. Just realised that Town is getting so boring. Harbourfront anyone? The weekend is here. Finally.

2006-07-04T06:33:00.000-07:00

KICK ARSE Hello Sexy people, today was a rocking son of a bitch ride. My hands are still shaking. Today was the recording of my interview show. I had the misfortune of being randomly selected to be director,11 weeks ago. All through the rehearsals, I had never,not made a major boo-boo. WE skipped MM lecture to be in the studio earlier to set up our lights. A lot of controversy over that. Skipping this was so worth it. The guests were scheduled to arrive in 45 mins and we had our first full rehearsal. It was not good. not good at all. I was so petrified, I wonder how pale i looked. In bloody shambles. Carol and then Glenn arrived. Hallelujah. I could have hugged and kissed carol's feet but i refrained from that, knowing how awkward it would be. have to keep it professional. Glenn was glenn, excited about it etc. Once they were miked, briefed, we had to run. we were 5 mins late. The other group was on our tail. After a green light and standby floor... Ready colour bar... take colour bar ( and so it began) 15 mins went by like a snap of a fing. It didnt even feel like a show, it was like grabbing shots and putting them up on the screen, along with graphics and names etc. 5,4,3,2,1-FSVPO. We were done. I breathed,actually inhaled. WE did not suck. we had our mistakes of course but nothing too huge. We only over-ran by 2 secs! Obviously, when writing this i am extremely biased and therefore am not really sure whether the job was an-excellente. STOP HERE, all the knowledgeable Background info: our interview show topic was drugs and youth. i love our questions and simply our programme. We had secured our first guest weeks ago-Mr Glenn Lim. Former druggie,surreal's guitarist, wake me up music partner and awakening productions founder. oh, and youth pastor. Give him a halo. Our second guest was only confirmed, yesterday, 24 hours before our show. Turning point-christian halfway house director called gmaine and got us one of their prime recovered addicts-Ms Carol Wee. Now a senior exec. for Food from the Heart. She is so hot. Never could have imagine her up to her nose in heroin. the entire interview show is student run. no teachers. no help.

2006-06-30T02:21:00.000-07:00

and an athlete... and a basket case... a princess... ...and a criminal... sincerely yours, the breakfast club. I feel like shit. The most unlucky bitch to have walked this earth, this week. Yes, I am one of those self-centered-possibly on the verge of narcissism- person, who usually gets what she wants. My heart & soul has been troubled for the past few days. You know what. Im done with it. A friend told me that you should go with the flow be it in studies or partying. Let fate or your subconscious mind lead you somewhere. Im doing that. Im at that stage where I reminisce on the past, fear the future and dread the present as I carry on each day. This by no means, imply that I am unhappy. I am perfectly adjusted and contented. Its just moments like this, More to come Im sure, that makes me wonder what exactly do I want to happen. If socpsych has taught me one thing; things are never how they seem and that what you see is almost never what you get. Im always wrong. I love that. Ive been doing some career hunting. The one thing I thought I could not do, I did. And the one thing I thought I could do for the rest of my life, is starting to reveal its flaws. Don’t ask me what I want to do because I’ll probably change my answer in nanosecond intervals. Im not worried. Not yet. Pre-legal is pure bs. You are neither here nor there. Huh, like me. Im done fighting mcm lecturers. Im done because I know that at the end of the day, I will outlive them. Even if some claim to be immortal. I cant take care or carry anymore. I cant hear anymore. I cant stand anymore. I nod. Nodding is the simplest and neutral response. Even turtles nod. Try a nod. Throw a curve ball at me, spit in my face and bury me alive. I’ll still be back. Oh, jamie’s calling. Good news. Finally, a break.

2006-06-26T07:31:00.000-07:00

The Breakfast Club Check it out when you feel like you dont fit in. Just do it dick-heads. A preview? Allison Reynolds: I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either. Claire Standish: You're lying. Allison Reynolds: I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac. Claire Standish: Lie. Brian Johnson: Are your parents aware of this? Allison Reynolds: The only person I told was my shrink. Andrew Clark: And what did he do when you told him? Allison Reynolds: He nailed me. Claire Standish: Very nice. Allison Reynolds: I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did can be construed as rape, since I paid him. Claire Standish: He's an adult. Allison Reynolds: Yeah, he's married too. Claire Standish: Do you have any idea how completely gross that is? Allison Reynolds: Well, the first few times... Claire Standish: The first few times? You mean you did it more than once? Allison Reynolds: Sure. Claire Standish: Are you crazy? Brian Johnson: Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink. Allison Reynolds: Have you ever done it? Claire Standish: I don't even have a psychiatrist. Allison Reynolds: Have you ever done it with a normal person? Claire Standish: Didn't we already cover this? John Bender: You never answered the question. Claire Standish: Look, I'm not going to discuss my private life with total strangers. Allison Reynolds: It's kind of a double edged sword isn't it? Claire Standish: A what? Allison Reynolds: Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right? Claire Standish: Wrong. Allison Reynolds: Or are you a tease? Andrew Clark: She's a tease. Claire Standish: I'm sure. Why don't you just forget it. Andrew Clark: Oh, you're a tease and you know it. All girls are teases. John Bender: She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot. Claire Standish: I don't do anything. Allison Reynolds: That's why you're a tease. Claire Standish: OK, let me ask you a few questions. Allison Reynolds: I already told you everything. Claire Standish: No. Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love. I mean, don't you want any respect? Allison Reynolds: I don't screw to get respect. That's the difference between you and me. Claire Standish: It's not the only difference I hope. John Bender: Face it, you're a tease. Claire Standish: I'm NOT a tease. John Bender: Sure you are. Sex is your weapon. You said it yourself. You use it to get respect. Claire Standish: No, I never said that she twisted my words around. John Bender: What do you use it for then? Claire Standish: I don't use it period. John Bender: Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological? Claire Standish: I didn't mean it that way. You guys are putting words into my mouth. John Bender: Well, if you'd just answer the question. Brian Johnson: Why don't you just answer the question? Andrew Clark: Be honest. John Bender: No big deal. Brian Johnson: Yeah answer it. Andrew Clark: Answer the question, Claire. John Bender: Talk to us. Every one: C'mon, answer the question. Come on. Answer it. John Bender: C'mon, it's easy. It's only one question. Claire Standish: NO I NEVER DID IT. Allison Reynolds: I never did it either. I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar I was on the floor by that line.

2006-06-20T07:59:00.000-07:00

I am in dire need of a new blog skin. Today was the first time I felt like i had a break. One day out of the given 2 weeks. I hung out with PAMS & Haowie. My smart ACJC sophomore & my attached-bachelor mugger. Pams and me caught Cars at the above Grand Cathay. It really is as creepy as jenny said. Adidas shops, half renovated ben and jerry's. a hair salon. the cinema's at level 6. The cinema halls are gigantic compared to what I have at jubilee. The seats, do not get me started on the ergonomics and comfort. The movie was pretty good. 2 hours. It had heart, lots of humour and a twist near the end. you dont see twists in cartoons. Kids are just too stupid. I still wish they had chosen a hot young thing instead of bonnie hunt as the porche, I mean i love her but talk about a voice more suited for an SUV. the plot is rather mature actually. The idea that the world is moving too fast, that it passes the good things by. Friendship is most important above all else. I liked Pixars take that its a CARS/vehicles with about 4 wheels only world. i thought lightning mcqueen was in reference to sheryl crows song about steve mcqueen. turns out...The character Lightning McQueen is a reference to Glenn McQueen, a Pixar animator who died in 2002. ahh... Fav quotes: Mater:I knowd i made a good choice. Mcqueen:In what? Mater: Ma bes friend. Mater: Hey Sally. Sally: Hey there Mater. Lightning McQueen: [to Mater] You know her? Mater: She's my fiancée. Lightning McQueen: What? Mater: [nudges McQueen playfully] I'm just kiddin'. She jus' likes me for my body. Lightning McQueen: I'm serious! He's won three Piston Cups! Mater: [spits out fuel] He did WHAT in a cup? (Dinoco scout): Theres more to racing than just winning. ***----Do not read on if you intend to catch the movie----*** Fav. scenes 1. When Mcqueen stopped short of the finish line to help the king finish. 2. The tractor tipping. Thre tractors are cows! Yes, I love that movie because after the last movie i caught, took a lot to get me into a cinema. Next on the list is superman returns with the 2 dude and dudette again. A picture house movie-wit prem or kams. Cant wait.

2006-06-16T06:26:00.000-07:00

*My Tagboard is faulty. will fix it soon* I deleted my previous posts under the advice of my darling Premadona. What the heck happened to freedom of press. We re mass communicators for crying out loud. we of all people seek the suppressed truth, living each day debunking the secrets that keep our society so mild and meek. Yet, our institutionalized influencers are the one who cant tahan a lil criticism. Except of course when its aiming at us, its totally alright to emabrass and cause a kid to weep in front of the entire faculty and respected peers. How dare they. How could we. Im not angsty. Im not furious. Im just sad. sad that i thought different of something that was no different than the rest of its damned kind. Wait, this post might be too sarcastic and defamatory.I suppose I have to delete this one too. Oh well.

2006-06-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

48hours-my life got that much better Friday I skipped MM, because i was 15 mins late. hung out with jowell dude. MRM was ok. susanne was sick so we didnt give her no shit. mrm meeting afterwards. so far,boring yes? >> I had exclusive pass/invitation to the Hip Hop Finals. We were invited to the reception. We had front row seats with our names on it. That never happened to me. till now. The groups were amazing. But my god,i was blown away by 1crew. They had the attitude you could only find in south bronx-bad ass, even their theme was prison with their orange jumpsuits and all. they kicked di duper booty when they showdown with rough cutz for top spots. Manage to get their contacts though i have no idea whether they would want to do our campus concert. they are apparently pros. oka. Me,Phoebs,jamie,shah,lye urn hung out after that-we missed the last band playing at the esplanade. chilled at the preview lounge at __________. I think i found a piece of heaven. they are totally cool chinks man-never stopped laughing. _________ Saturday I had tv prod meeting that lasted 1 1/2 hours. We didnt have much to do i suppose. we went to cine to catch glenn singing to a virtually zero audience-not his fault- and gave some support. jamie, me, lara and phoebs went to heeren to shop where i got my vinyl white shoes. Glenn joined us later. Went to NYDC to grab some food and drinks-talked. Alot going on at orchard this gss man. Went over to the bazaar to say hellos to my darlings prema,nora and zana who are spinning the music to keep you company. Went shopping-got my pants! had to leave for the interview with Angeline. I had to wait, 35 mins for the organizer to chill down to talk to me. Hell yea, it was worth it. She gave me everything i needed and more. I was amazed by the sincerity and passion in her words. Its as though she is reliving the moment she chose the arts profession. I got her name cards, hoping to pass it to the lecturers. She wants manpower, we could even collaborate with them for our marcom or pr projs. How bloody awesome. Im considering volunteering for CLAP! at the same time, i want to write for etch.both would get me cca points of course but i want to do so much more. I had an ephiphany when angeline said this We have to embrace it. community is us. we. Me. Week of endless assignment to do-aint even funny.

2006-05-31T06:13:00.000-07:00

Its like when you want char kway teow but you end up with spaghetti, its just not nice. why'd we invite him for symc anyway? To you cogs, I watched this episode just to see Paul therefore do not expect me to tune in again and whisper idol gossip with you. I got to host the show SOLo today. Only got the news, 1 hr before my show. Prem had this urgent client meeting at columbia label, clarke quay. I was so psyched. Not realising, i had done zero playlist, and zero content summary. yipee. It was so awesome.Ken popped in for abit to say a quick hello and help me annouce some songs. good chap. Re used the playlist from last week-lazy lah create new one. Kept mentioning about how i missed my cohost and how its just not the same w/o her. wonder woman and princess came in earlier to accompany me. outdoor broadcast on friday. Speaking of which, I have yet to call angelina on my interview timing. 9pm?6pm? Nora just wants to go see slique-the most good looking hiphop band? right missy. Have to thank my premadonna for coming back to the studio and helping me out with advert. Well, sort of help. i hate ziggy. i just do. expecting to fail actually, because the world seems to hate me when it comes to advert. Its a very merry radio heatwave post. yea, my second familia. I get to fly solo again next wk coz the crew is going SSF! Rock default. I want to do. i want,i want. i hope.no marketing internship never mind, i want rock default. princess and syasha wonder with their masks going home time. Off to shit on my philips juicer ad now-the very bane of my existence-it seems to mock me everytime i take it out. does not help that 20% of my advert grade-5 credit units depends on this god forsaken assignment. Kick arse.

2006-05-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

My United State of the Arts Today was boggled. Ziggy sucked. I had zippo info on my demographics and pyschographics. My Ad is also breaking down.I mean for goodness sake, it is impossible to find info on lifestyle mag-its free and thats abt all that i know abt it. freaked my shit out when i couldnt switch on my lappie. turns out-faulty ciruit. News-Writing-Tad bit more eventful. I got to test and hone in on my interviewing skills with Yan ying. i had no idea till today that she lived alone-rents a room and lives independently. mind-blowing cool. Field assignment sucked. Can penelope think of something more yawn-worth to do?Aced the pop quiz. JLo was jLo. i realise that her class goes by like a snap of the finger.Meeting with her is like a meeting with your voice. Tiff did a knock out impression of her. Yes, Now,do this,this is wrong, hmm, ya, ok were done. 9 of us grabbed a cab to National Lib at about 5pm. Lee Kong chian, there we were. Turns out, so many other mcmers had already hopped on board. MRM is murder.what was she thinking-she must be so damn proud of herself for giving us the topic. We were so dead by 7pm. Tiff practically photostepped entire books.We decided to share all our research,finish faster,finish as a class. I mean, its not cheating-we end up writing it all ourselves what. The whole competitiveness shit is something i dun get. We left at 7.40pm. Its now 2hrs later. Things to do? 1. Contact report-email to jlo along with grp members 2. MM-decision making assignment. Walan eh-must cite sia. 3. MM test-Im just gonna wing it. GLENN said yes! We are good to go with him as our tv production guest. As for the other chap, well, ill worry about that later. Cant wait to share the news with everyone. woo hoo.

2006-05-14T01:29:00.000-07:00

Broad-Cast *Blog dated, Saturday-13th May*. Im bitter sweet about today. Shit happened at home, on the way there to (Substation) and vice versa. Nothing to get all bothered abt, but still. Broadcast was awesome-nicious. 1. Caught the bands music videos-a couple eye-popping ones and one that was darn close to our hearts. It was an interview with a couple of music-BIG- names in Singapore speaking up abt the almost none support for the local scene etc. I had no idea local music existed till 2004. I knew there were bands playing, busking here and there but I had no idea there was an industry. Im a gen-Y self absorbed,western-commercialized slob. But I love my localized. After watching the Siti video- I have the urge to buy Force Vomit. Saw Di-No before I left. Dude had hair longer than mine. After that, were some films by liquidbomb-director also the frontman for typewriter. Patrick and Desmond were in most of their films.What a shame they couldnt be put on TV mobile. 2. Caught the hip hop acts from uniquely Singapore. I was blown away. Dya realize that majority of u-so called local music junkies only believe that the predefinition of local music has to be played in a band. I heard this fine girl with a voice like beyonce yall! im so freaking serious. This other guy that could whip khairul anwar’s ass. Another Chap named the zul-myster whos bee-boxing style mimicked Justin T. And yea, the ultimate hiphop group with hits like poltergeist. My mouth was almost constantly open, I was at awe and I could not take my eyes off them. Check them out, 24-25 June @ Esplanade. Yes, if you were wondering majority of the fans were malay. But it appears no mats and minahs were invited because these boys could hold their own accents! Rauzan-the kid central former kid star was there to support his friends. Its a very tight-knit community. Their materials are original. Later in the nite, I actually told one of them that they really rocked and that theyve (& him) has showed me a different side to local music and for that I was grateful. Guy said: That is the coolest compliment I have ever gotten. Thank-YOU so much. Caught my Radio Heatwave seniors there too! Said our hellos. Scored some major suckup points there I think-after all we actually went to the event that our own radio station is supporting. On a diff note- I could not get the local music slot because it clashes with my TV Prod. Class. Please comfort me over the next few days as I prepare to present another slot. Boo-hoo. 3. The acoustic sets were okay too. I got to see The Marilyns( *school girl scream*) and hear their malay songs. Lets just say I felt like butterflies after that. I got the Music for good compilation cd. My friend bought Lunarin,The Marilyns and nearly wanted to get the compilation. Never knew he was such a fan! ( I am riping that cd, I tell ya…) 4. Finale-Electric sets. Lunarin…Linda…she is super hot man. A chick that has the fringe in her eyes, playing bass on a guitar that looked like it has been carved out for her. I love their sounds. Lunarin was said to be one of the most technical bands there is-they put a lot into their recordings and even said to have put up the 5figure dough to do so. Wow. They sound great. Stoned Revivals-not big whoop. Guess, just not my cup of tea. Astreal-what a way to end the night. Ginette didn’t look like ginette. I love her bob hairdo though. Another chick basist that kicks major di duper ass. Everybody in the band was so dressed up. Tomorrow is another misfortuned day, I happen to live for. Thank god for music-or Id be brain dead by now.

2006-05-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

The Mourning After traffic Junction-Kam & Nads I thought it was going to be a quiet dinner. Me & Nads,pot lucking at far east, window shopping & commenting whenever... Ding-ding, not happening. & Hell was it better the way it turned out. Dinner was really good ( as always). Present to share in the goodies was Faye aka yew char kueh, Nads, Selene & Ilhammi,Paul, Kamille. We had mee goreng, 3 yes 3 plates of yew char kueh, kangkong. At one point in time both Faye & Nads whispered to me (left & then right) about how they want the 3rd plate of yew char kuey. So much laughter & highness at the table. Also a couple of bitchy politcal bs to catch up on. Not that i wanted to hear, but conversations happen. Caleb & Melissa joined us after. Walked about at far east to just shop. I needed to get into InQbox to get my local brand goodies. Tot about getting their contact for the interview show but looks like i have to do it by mail. I bought Raging Rabbit & the 3 teats!! woo hoo, Maybe next time i could get the identity one. I will not, god forbid step into flesh imp & pure milk. Im local. not that Lo-Cal. Selene & I had a chance to talk, yea! miss u my little schizo while Mel & Faye looked at shoes & the rest headed out to starbucks. Lene & Ilhammi went home- Mel,me & faye went to Zara. Nicole chen was there-stories shared. I am so bloody determined to get a striped top! Ne-er mind, Mel has the topshop card. Starbucks,yes, the place we were kicked out off. The volume was still the same. Hafiz joined us there. so noisy-riot u noe!Faye & her damned poll, I stick to my answer...wait,what was m ans again? Shah came aka Mr Sungguh Hot & yes, Mr Din.-grabbed a couple of shots with him & yea! TICKETS TO ANUGERAH SKRIN LIVE!! :) I am bringing the banner. As a result of this light-hearted gathering, i missed the news therefore one day of data in my MRM extra credit. Jess,Has & Shah-online peeps at this moment all didnt do. hayo. Tomorrow,elections day. buzzing with energy eh? NOT.

2006-04-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

PROJECT GRASS Project Grass- say no to drugs. Hmmm, anyone remember the story that cordelia told about the lesbian bar & her swigging weed just to keep calm. Oh,Cordelia is my lecturer btw. Did you know that MPs can be cool too. not a hypothesis, an actual fact. Dr Mailiki Osman actually rocked on with the boys of Surreal for a solo on the guitar for abt 20 seconds. Dude can hold his own on stage & in parliament. Very good political move might i add. We may not be able to vote yet, but we will remember a jimmy hendrix fan. Agenda there was to confirm the rumour that Daph had joined WGB. I hadnt seen her in abit because of the diff classes so i would not have known & YES! she has joined the motley crew. Growing up with them, well, it seemed appropriate that the vox torch went to her after Ryan. I thought she was electric- like the energizer bunny. Not awesome that the sound system (effe u ce ke) up when it was their turn. Not close to an intervention for us from giving our old girl some support at the frontline. Proud of u,Daph :). I have been converted to a part time wgb groupie. mind blowing to see Electrico again- They have really cool songs in their next album.Wonder if NP music library will purchase it...pretty please... Overall, pretty good day. Morn:Radio Heatwave was a lil effed up lah but to touch the console was like glimpsing into the holy grail. Aftn: Muddy Mud Pie @ Coffee Club-yummylicious. Shared Food @ far east-so economical & fulfilling. I missed them. Hang in there guys.i think of yall everyday. no forget tuesday lunch ar. Farand darling, please not have your advert meeting or at least have it while the rest of us eat lunch? Think abt it yea. :). I have the WGB recording... ME want to sleep now. buenos noche.

2006-04-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

News is...the most accurate when you see it in front of your eyes. In 3 words i am... a borderline insane cynic What will they write on your tombstone...Here lies a girl, who is almost always way in over her head but still keeps on going till the end. I think it is an understatement that the MCM sophomores are having nightmares about Jenny Low growing snakes out of her head or Susanne eating you like a dim sum or just Bangras boring you to the point of losing your senses. Everyone is afraid. We cant go back. We cant graduate. We have to do this shit. Major round of tutorials today. Mingled here & there with the new classmateys. 1. Ziggy locked us out because we were 3 minutes late. Let us back in at 10.05. Reason: Will not have anyone stroll in one by one. Ziggy is like the rabbit in alice in wonderland. He informed us of the time, 3 times, 5 minutes apart. Hong kies. (sorry...) 2. Paul Ramani, from the words of selene-mellow. Ok. jamaicans are mellow. I dont think he cuts it. I was so doped up by the getting to know u round at the end that i was just laughing at everything he said. 3. Jenny Low aka Medusa Nickname given by a senior who got it bad from the advertising Byetch who knows her shit! Let me kiss your feet & worship you for you are my idol. If I could choose the person to lead us into the field of mad advertising,it would be her. she -funny -witty -no nonsense -friendly-haha, open to interpretation. Got into our groups at Advert. 4. Hong Huey Ling She is afraid we might destroy all the 10mill worth of equipment & dessimate her rep. Boo hoo, go eat your pao. I have found my tv pro calling. I would like to be the.... -CAMERA OPERATOR. Yes, I said it. Itinerary for tomorrow Susanne Chan for Media Research. God save me. or at least provide me with food offerings to supply to her Herald Bangras Mr-I-AM-SO-FUNNY with my rectum joke. I will not be surprised if my bag rips apart. bringing dominick,De vito( to sell) & lappie. ARGH!! Alright, for MassCom wannabes, dont bother getting good grades coz we will just take you in. thats right, our standard has dropped. SO, go ahead,fail a thing or two. Im tired of hearing, Masscomm so slack,you all have no exams what. at least the stuff youre learning is cool. Ok. MAjor Projects this semester 1. Newspaper project- create a newspaper for NP 2. TV production-Produce 2 shows with 7 weeks to the first one. 3. An Ad campaign for a retail product-radio commercial,tv commercial,print ads,marketing proposal,media proposal 4. Media Research Methods'- EXAM 5. Spanish project If this lure you all in, come on in. But when the shit hits your face, dun say i didnt warn u. this isnt for everybody. not even saying its for me. but hell, im still breathing.

2006-04-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Im pooped. Quadroople pooped. Lecture day-tuesday is quite possibly hell on earth for sophomores, sem 2.1. Barely making it out of there...I ran into starsh! Yeah!She's in T108, getting all the usual suspects. Seems to be doing fine. way to go! Me on the other hand-i feel like i need to go back to langkawi. 66 dollars spent on Advertising books & Media Research books. 8 hours of lecture with 1 hour break. spent it @ gallileos with the gang+faye & Kam. 3 times, i fell asleep. Once in newswriting,2nd in TV pro.( i mean, she was asking for it yo, u dim the lights & play a brit documentary). Finally a doze while jlo was ranting about...well,i wouldnt know now would I seeing that i dozed off. 1 bad joke from bangras, for gods sake does a joke about the importance of rectum impress our seniors before us, because dude, we werent laughing with u. Every education officer spouted the same underlying fact. If we can survive year 2 with part of our sanity,pride & hair intact, then we deserve to go on & graduate.I remember last year- Harry & his grp were in the atrium & he nearly cried out depression because he was so stressed. It would have been nice to be lied to though. thanks teachers. My trip was amazing. the watersports are my most fav., second would be the glorious food, 3rd-the island hopping & lastly, the resort. SO, couple of photos @ ladieM's still shots. Adios.

2006-04-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Take the lead. Never follow. --------------------------- Freddy says: 1. Its like sister act 2 but with dance.Theme: Tough neighbourhood, kids being told they are never going to be better than what ppl expect of them which is Nothing. New angle: Its when you have nothing to lose. Inner-city competition that nobody expects them to win. 2. a little show of Havana Nights theme( rich kid & the poor kid). Monster pairing up with that rich girl-forgot her name. 3. Sasha-tango girl- emblems a young eva longoria dont cha think? 4. Moves are pretty good. Hip,hop & ballroom. Very clear they're dancers before actors. 5. TRIVIA: Morgan( stuck up/fancy dancer that danced the tango with Pierre)- the actress played Lindsay Lohan's best friend in Confessions of a drama queen. Is that the title. Ya. Still... 1.Bits & pieces left on hold. What happen to the gang?How'd Rock get there? Endings a lil off. So who won? I did like how it ended it all though. 2. Seen too many. Tried too hard trying to bring inspirational with the complicated love stories. A lil draggy at times. Alot of lil stories here & there. I stil liked it though. :). thats just me. ------ Im gone for 5days, Back roughly 9hours before my 1st class starts on Mon. Pray for me.

2006-04-14T23:55:00.000-07:00

Freddy says: Party Fever Collision 1. Vaunt@MOS-Underage party 16 (age)to enter 18 (age)to drink 18 bucks for presale tix(inclu. 1 drink)-till 24/04/06 22 at door(") *party covers all rooms/dance areas 30 May 2006 9 PM-3am Itinerary: Model thingy, chances to win MP3 players,Samsung phones etc. 3,500 lucky early birds will get a NETS-looking ticket. 2. DXO-Illusion Same rules apply 29 April 06 ( saturday) 9pm doors open; fun begins @ 11pm. 18 bucks for tix( one drink) 5 bucks per shot 1 for 1 from 11pm-1am organised by flo productions and eINC ft. DJ ILLUSION spinning top40/rnb! Email: anthea_tan@hotmail.com

2006-04-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

Mr darling, mr Ho Chi Hoe, message to you, I know you have the Anna Nalick CD! & because your tagboard has miraculously & coincidentally disappear, I have no choice but to resort to begging tactics. Please, send me wreck of the day as a sample to ease my decision in purchasing her album. Its really not in my budget now, therefore i do need a huge push of persuasion. Screw them exams and read this entry!!

2006-04-09T23:14:00.000-07:00

So much for taking it easy. So much for- hell, we can meet anytime now because i am so free So much for catching up with good friends I have to work ppl. At least for the next 2 days. Most likely with extension. I dont mind. Makes the period between now & leaving on a jetplane, that much shorter. Probably ease up the hole of cash that was vacuumed up on Saturday. *investment nad, remember, investment... I have 24 hrs to clean my room, see Jos & the looneys, finish up my novels, reorganzie my closet, approve credit card transaction/withdrawal. buggers. Nearly ran into Mr Ling at the pool today. His boisterous voice resonated across the walls, while i was butt naked-taking a shower in the girls showerroom. By the time I was done, he'd already gathered the amk troopers at the competitve pool. Forgot about the damn sec 1 swimming classes. If I saw Ling in a speedo- I might as well have drowned myself there & there. NOTe: 4/3! Chicago comes to u!! wee.

2006-04-06T21:52:00.000-07:00

Literally 10 mins before Im out. My morning plans went out the window when my bro smsed me to take half leave so that we could go book our tickets today. Never been the kind to say no to the solo sibling. Still contemplating on how to get from robinson road to geylang to get my mothers gift. getting to denise is also another challenge, gosh knows her last minute dinner plans. I am going to miss Angeline so much. I never realised chinese girls could be so emo. ( sorry for the discriminatory remark). Anyway, leaving her a farewell msg. Definitely we wil hang out once school opens yea, maybe the halo bar! kakaka. & that boyfriend of yours, you better not let me near that womanizing sucker. Vera is the awesomest boss, nothing but pure pleasure working with her. Signed up 2 more clients today- negotiations tough! but at least i contributed my best in the final hours.God, i miss the thrill of it all. She says to call her when my next holi comes so she can set me up with more projects. Made the mistake of telling her the marketing modules im taking next sem. yikes. As much as i would love to watch the proj take off next thur, honey, i aint gonna wake up at 6am & go to a hotel, i aint never heard off. :) Im gonna miss this place; but i cannot stay.Too many committments, i left unfilled when i up & went for this. ( I keep our promise). Avoire frontline. * i had to call up the director of NP to hook him as a client! I didnt even dare tell him my name. they can smell mcmers from afar those political animals. rar.

2006-04-05T05:28:00.000-07:00

FCUK cardigan poccillini leather- black Stains from my coffee cup Ink stains messed up hair missed calls missing u. middle of the week. My back feels like its being held my metal clothes pegs, just piercing my spine. Result of sitting with terrible posture. The past few days, I started a diary. You know one of those, the types that you don’t actually showcase to the whole human race, just to Y-O-U only. I don’t know, I guess I was just a lazy bitch to blog. i will stop now. Been trying to book us flights for a week now and the dates are just not working out. How was I to know good Friday would be pack to the max. I just want to get it settled soon. Having said so, I am SUPER- psyched! My new cubicle is so private, Angeline & I chatted for an hour and nobody gave a shat. Furthermore, we could see where my boss was at from where we sat. Keith is cooky. But hell, he got his wish made in heaven. So much for finishing this Friday. Still debating on whether to continue till next week. We have tones to do & it dont feel right for me to just leave em hanging. I mean at the rate that keith goes, we might be lucky to get all the calls out once.( I know I promised u abt the photo thing). I dont know whether i love it. Maybe love is too strong & overrated of an expression but yea. Close enough. IS modules im taking? Appreciating literary works & Spanish. Taking the latter for the 1st duration & the former on the second duration. School in 2 weeks. Buggers. Focking buggers.

2006-03-28T05:47:00.000-08:00

** If you have to ask, then theres your answer aint it. Aimless ramblings from a megalomaniac in denial. Im not being emo. Neither am I trying to be Mr Fake aka Desmond Wees ideal apprentice. I just have a lot on my mind that once put on paper, no longer threatens the life it belongs to- Breathe lyrics. Im the geek who wants to be hip Who hides behind abercombie & fitch Im the zero who wants to be hero Half the time, scared out of my wits Im the bitch who wants to be friendly Only to stab you in your sleep Im the amateur who wants to be pro riding on simple reputation Im the minah who wants to be chicka Getting rid of the American slang, sia lah! Im the masscomer who wants to be normal And not give in to its stereotypes. Like duh. Im the kid who wants to run wild Even though her curfews at 1 Im the daughter who wants to be perfect Like Rory in Gilmore girls Im the cynic who wants to be romantic But that guy just doesnt seem to hear- the words that are coming out of my mouth! Im the strayed who wants to be religious Of course without the religion part I never knew I had so many dreams…heh.

2006-03-26T20:39:00.000-08:00

Late lunch. Again. A break between equal 4 hrs work is more sensical isnt it? V says the co. has no budget to bring in another temp. So sad for Shah. Would have been nice to have a peer working here. It gets so tense sometimes. V says we are behind schedule. Thats almost impossible. The workshop is 2 freaking weeks away! I will be done with the invites by the end of the week. What else is in store for me? when can i get transferred?? Oh balls... just called my mum. Daily routine when im at work. Was still half in dream land when i left for work this morn. I had a revelation while i was taking a dump in the loo. 1. I miss my friends. The A level students, the juniors, the looneys!, the MCMERs- even though i just saw you guys last week, 3 days to be exact, my ex-clasmates etc. 2. I miss my family. Dont get to see my parents alot during weekdays and the weekends come and go like Bushs need to bomb a country. 3. I miss school. I keep starring at Npal and the ghostly silent MEL. Even though yr 2 will rip the flesh from my bones. 4. I miss reading. borrowed thick novels & some virginia woolf poems to read but i just cant find the energy to do so when i get home. 5. I miss midnight shows. Im a goner by 12am. not by choice. I know that my blog entries this days are aimless work ramblings. But hell, its my blog aint it. Life goes by and im still standing still.

2006-03-24T19:00:00.000-08:00

I dont love him. Winter just wasnt my season. 11am. It is a Saturday. By right, I ought to be tucked in bed right now- dreaming and floating in the abyss of endless dreams. Instead- i was up by 9 am. AARGH! Have been surfing the various blogs to see if anyone has blogged about yesterday, well apparently no therefore allow me the honours yes? I was a freaking nervous slob when I woke up yest- the results were out at 9am. The girls and I decided that if any one of us didnt pass or get what we wanted,we should just not go out. I was late. I missed my transport after waiting on my waffle( which ended up half toasted anyway). So, I had to grab a bus. I reached work 20 mins late- didnt matter and all i wanted- i oh so desired was to get to my cubicle, switch on my notebook and log on. Obstacles faced: 1. Recep wanted to know how i was, chit chat. 2. drone workers were queuing up to get into the office. I logged on. Took a deep breath & clicked. Holy Guocomoly! I passed Writ Com. The quarter pounder on Vespa let me through!! Oh ma gawd!everybody had the same verdict! Way to go nad who pass medsoc! Anti-climax- went to the loo & realised my eyes looked like prematured born baby blowfishes. I had to wear shades. The day went by relatively fast. I had tonnes of work piled onto me. I told V to get Has to replace me but no...what did she say: no need...Im trying to get her to agree to take one more so i can recommend shah.lol.She wasnt in yesterday so i practically slacked the entire day- what do you expect- its a friday!felt gd to be back though. A lil disappointed with my gpa- not my grades. Get it? Well, I love my results but gpa is calculated based on credit units multiplied by grade. Therefore, theoretically,someone with all Bs can get a higher GPa then someone who got 2 As and 2 Cs based on credit computation. Thats a mouthful. But for now, i take what i can get. I might not want to go to U. but like the Os, I want to have the option to go to U. ya know. Alright, so 5pm- checked out- took a nearly 1hr bus ride to Orchard. My eyes had died down but they were still blackish on my right side. applied major foundation under it but no use. Met the posse at far east browsing through second hand books. I sat on a stool behind Kamille for about 5 mins until she tripped on me and said sorry. Talk about the invisible woman. We ate at Sakura. Laughs all around. Yea, she loved the pink themed prezzies. Oh ya, who haven pay ah? anyway...proceeded to wheelock-starbucks to chill. We played a noisy game of truth or dare. Nad-promote product Me- cheer with the words volkswagen,margarita,cheesecake. Illhami- lap dance to ____-thats a vision that will stick in my mind. Shah- kiss ___ on the ckeeks. hahaha. Lenes-hahaha...sing like who ar? * for the truths, let it be for the record that my question was so predictable and the full answer would be Yes-last time but Now-HELL NO!! **what happened/said at starbucks stays in starbucks. Chick from the other table said that we were noisy and told us to quiet down. NAD! Sial lah kau, relek lah.ish-ish. To not aggravate the situation further we left to Taka to sit and play rounds of card games. Name game-lol- that was fun. I bluffed only 3x throughout the 2 games and both were called. bull-shit. Nads had to leave. After that we sat and talked some more. Played more games till about 10.30 ish. Went to Cine-BK to grab supper and we talked some more. One name. One bane to humanity. IAN WONG. ( Psycho theme song) WE left at 11.30 ish. Has and I grabbed the 2nd last train home.would have loved to continue chilling bt i guess there was nothing left to do. I love friday night outings. Its not just something that I can look forward to at the end of the week. Its the only time, the few chances that i get to be the crazy,high-up, crude,immature 17 yr old. I cant get away with burping out loud/lap dances/truths or dares at work now can I. * CAN WE PLS GO SETTLERS NEXT WEEK. PRETTY PLEASE. WE CAN BOOK THE TABLE EARLY LIKE 7.30-9.30 IF U NEED TO LEAVE EARLY OR SOMETHING. :) Off to shopping!! wee!

2006-03-20T19:55:00.000-08:00

I am enraged. I am wrathful. I feel like slithing her god damn throat. Honestly, how I even felt an ounce of fondness towards you, begets me at this moment. Do you seriously think that we give a shit about your personal life? Do you? Do we even show the slightest bit of concern whether or not you graduate? Do we groan in awe at the mention of your trip to wonderous city of HK. Does it give you great pleasure to gloat? Does it help you achieve winks at night knowing the rest of the freshmen know how horrible your life is? Do you enjoy reaping our sympathies that are better deserved to someone who actually might deeply deserve it? Is there an inconceivable motive behind your statements? Frankly, I could not give a damn. I am beyond ecstatic that you are leaving. Gone, bye-bye. Do not for one moment that you are leaving the institution an accomplished and respected senior who is on perfect terms with everyone, because dearest darling, you are sadly,sadly mistaken. I will resign in heartbeat under your leadership but I know that your departure will prove a great opportunity for me. I loathe you miss. I hope I never get a chance to work with you out there in the working world. * On another note. It is nearly 12-lunch time. I am undecided on whether to leave early or to linger till 6pm. I have nothing to do. Ginns and V are at the conference and maureen, well, ill be glad not to bump into her. I miss Di. If i start getting all pro-active, the mistake is mine for not informing them on who i want to call. Im afraid that im doing to good a job at finishing the proj that I might be released early. YIKES! What the hell was I thinking being an outstanding worker. Then again, i might get transferred to where im needed. Purchasing & Sales is uber cool. I would be contented just licking their paper work. ooh, stomach is grumbling.I might be back. I might not. Avoire.

2006-03-19T17:17:00.000-08:00

Monday.Hard to wake up. Fill my coffee cup. Im out the door. Yeah, the freeway. Standing still today. Its gonna make me late. thats for sure. -something more by sugarland. love that song. No monday blues although i must admit, heck of a tough time waking up this morn. Packed me self some breakfast, not realising that today is MON-OFFICE-breakfast. Suey... Here i am, perched on my desk. Surprised to see a new face at recep- turns out illya is back and diana is missing in action! I do hope shes back soon for the admin job. I miss her so. Illya is so friendly and has agreed to go lunch with mua. Looks like im hanging out with the office posse for the next few days. Has-my lovely Has has agreed to cover me when i go on leave wed & thurs. I hate leaving but i aint got no choice.knows in my gut she can do this. Vera is not in yet.surprise2. I honestly dont know what to do. Should i follow up on friday faxes. Should i proceed to the Bs. Yikes. Get in will ya V. Off to finish my breakfast and then i shall start work. Today like friday should go by like a gordon flash. Crossed fings.

2006-03-19T03:54:00.000-08:00

how do you like it when someone else is shooting back at ya -pearl harbour My sweet,sweet Pamster! This girl is really something. Came back from the african wilderness,caught up on my blog and dialled my hp thinking i had dropped out of poly. wowsee. A. No darling that aint true. What i meant was that i had to go back to amkss to show them teachers that i wasnt no pusillinamous kid that quit the goodies turned to harsh reality when i went to MCM. btw, mrs lee is no longer a teacher-she quit to take care of her offsprings. B. I got no angst. Really. What I meant about mcm and ntu is that they shouldnt be affiliated. At least not for the reasons i stated. :) Life is good dear. Im working. Im happy. I miss you though! therefore, I propose we meet up again very soon, possibly on a friday night for some dinner or drinks. give me something to look fwd to at the end of the wk. I suppose subconsciously in those posts i detested the fact that i didnt yet know what i wanted to achieve in life, dont know whats out there waiting for me. I love school but what will become of me once school is out for good. Furthermore, damn stuck up megalomaniacs at the institutes of higher learning seem to invisibly spit in my face at the possibility me becoming a prospective student.SMU is really nice though. Anyway, i will see ya soon.

2006-03-15T17:24:00.000-08:00

16 march, Thursday. Yes, I am at my desk. Has been for about 25 minutes now. I just realised that my boss might not be coming in today. She said something about taking days leave but gosh, I really was not paying attention when she was confiding in me. Now, the consequence being I have no idea what else I am going to do today. She has not updated the list. I suppose all I can do is call back those that I higlighted because they were apparently to preoccupied to pick up the phone when I previously called. Hopefully, I can eliminate some of those. At the same time, she might be coming in today at her usual branch time of 11 and tonnes of work might be tossed onto my pile of to dos. I feel like getting off at 5 today since well, I do think I can manage to call those left on the list. I could grab a bus-22- cost me abit though, reach amk ard 6 and then have dinner with either jiawei or yi ling. Sounds good to me. I suppose I have to rely on circumstances then eh. Tomorrow night, end of my workin week, Nads and the girls are going to MOS for the finals of the cleos bachelor blah blah. I remember when we tried to get pass because there was a group of us and lily and i were short but they freaking caught us. Bloody f. I didnt bother showing them my ic because i figured a chic club like this was bound to be strict. Tomorrow though, I have to try. I believe in getting off work at 5 and then getting some food, head down to MOS to meet them. sIgh, if i cant get in, i might just head on to the next door pub or whatever hell hole. *I hope u call me. I cross my fingers. Got to go to the loo. Then off i go. I wonder if i finished the job, i could just sign out say around 2-3ish. Of course that is if my boss aint around. Awesome-nista. Just realised the money aint that impt...esp. when she has agreed not to give me CPF! woo hoo. I know...its a teen thing. Adios amigos ci senioritas.

2006-03-14T17:09:00.000-08:00

Theres got to be something more Christina: Anyway, the clinic had a policy. They wouldnt perform the procedure unless I put in a number, an emergency number.In case anything went wrong, they will contact the person. Meredith hugs her. Christina: You know this constitutes hugging. Meredith: Shut up. I am your person. -greys anatomy. Wednesday. It is the middle of the week.Invited to ladies night with Jos and the looneys, lol, miss u guys. Unfortunately, Im just too tired after work.So far I have no plans for the weekends. Possibly bumming around. I nearly gave in into my childish desires to sleep further and come in at 10pm. I got 4 winks extra and decided against it. I would have to fork extra $$ for bus fare if I so succumb to that thought. My mum is so sweet. Everyday since i started work, shes always woken up when she hears my super-di-super loud, almost stereo quality alarm clock. But then, she just lazes on the couch waiting for me to kiss her good bye and go back to snoozing. hehe. There was an attempt to make breakfast yesterday and for that I was grateful. I double my take yesterday by 2x and made 300 calls. I was amazed. Came in and brough in the F-game. ( i sound like a wall str power broker). Anyway, if i did the same today, well, we would be ahead of schedule. Which might mean we have more time to ensure the proect runs smoothly, which then means i get transferred to another department...HR!! Paper work and nothing but paper work. Sa-weeta. It is now 9.13.Officially, supposed to have started 13 mins ago but honestly, which office is open exactly at 9pm. Even my recep was late. This my cubicle. Now,if you will excuse me. my true work becons. 3 hrs till lunch. Heh-heh.

2006-03-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Fey: We play by tequila rules. Rhonda: What kind of rules are those? Fey: When you drink tequila, there aint no rules. I might be way in over my head. But hell, the view is sa-weet. I cannot believe how BTS did me in, man. Everytime I heard the word-telemarketing- i shrunk. I reminisce unexpectedly about how they treated me. How they made me feel weak,timid and virtually incompetent. How dare they make me question my youth, my age. Me. I was ready to run. I had heels on, but hell, I was on wheels. But it was amazing. They are amazing. Pool table, Monday office breakfast, soccer/badminton matches, picnics? My own cubicle where I am currently now comprehending as to how to decorate. My own laptop-BenQ. My own phone-well duh. I am left to do my own thang. Bring my own game. I have a tonne of responsibility on me. Im flying solo and that’s a first. At BTS, I had him. I am honoured that she wanted me. She waited 2 weeks for me to finish CPF to recruit me. Apparently my need to work 2 jobs back in 2005 impressed her. Vera. Thank you. I slacked today. If I had realised earlier what I now posses, I would have worked the entire day. No MSn. Heh. But now I know, now I believe I owe this to the co. I will see this project through. 3weeks,4 weeks, whatever it takes. I might get a scolding tomorrow because the result was really inefficient today. They didnt pay me, well-a lot- to come up with that. I disappoint myself. Do you smell that? Oh wow, its loyalty. I never thought about it. I was a job-hopper. But she told me she will do her best to make sure I have another position ready in the co. after the proj is done with. She wants to help me pay for school. Wow. Her: A young girl shouldnt have to work so hard but at least know what hard work means. Thanks Navinda, we owe u. The lady killer has left the building. Peace.

2006-03-12T01:49:00.001-08:00

( Sorry Jos. Knew u had a great time. Will see you really,really soooon. love you ) From Tequila Mockingbird. -GOD gave men both a brain and a penis. But he only gave them enough blood to work one at a time. NUS. i could not believe how groggy i was this morning. what seemed like an ungodly hour when my alarm rang was actually 8.30. I have no idea how im going to get up tomorrow. we grabbed a cab and arrived for the talk just in time. their goodie bags and freebies was so cool. the FASS exhibition was packed with info-hungry jc graduates, wondering if they could escape their parents ideals of having a family doctor or lawyer. i could not believe how enormous the campus was. i mean they had feeder buses into the schools. the closest thing we have are miniature buggies and BUSPLUS. Their business school is supposedly world-acclaimed, i agree. No offence but gees sake, the law faculty was headed by this stuck-up, possibly mute lady killer who refused to answer my questions beyond a ya, and top 5%,top 5%. I wont say what i know what everyon who has read this is thinking. SMU Spontaneous decision. wise decision. they put the style in management university. somebody didnt know that the sleek architecture were actually campuses. heh. anyway, they had performances and one to one consultations. the seniors were really helpful and darn enthu. i just had to get her number. their course is so specialised-i had no idea. i love their curriculum. I also applaud the fact that in their brochures, they actually address poly students as potential students. today was cool, i like hanging with my bro. :) work tmr. ah-ha. avoir.

2006-03-11T04:25:00.000-08:00

GEEK IN THE PINK We went to the FundFiesta- yes, the irony of it is suppose to appear cleverly witty but unfortunately it fails to amuse thee. It was silver jubilee minus about 40 stalls and 9 performances and a big stage. Apart from the stated, it was practically the same portrait of bustle and chatter. It was nice to see the teachers though; in addition to revealing that I have yet to drop out from poly, I am actually doing dandy. Amirah and her usual list of strangely predetermined line of questioning ready to fire away like a russian sub. Mrs Ismail approves of my institution-thank god-saying stuff like us getting the kids from my school to participate. right... NTU.Well, for one, its practically on the other side of the world and the pimpo that said that Singapore is so small clearly didnt live in AMK and wished to travel to BOON LAY. For crying out loud, I felt my ass developing concavely. The school/faculty that shall not be named. It was aight. The lecturer-im assuming- was SO boring. I couldnt help but snigger and be the cynic. When we stepped into the luxuriously overhyped studio room i swore the TJ and VJ girl in front of us said ooooh. I loathed that we had to wait 1/2 hour before they got us going on the tour. I suppose part of my frustrations arise from doing the open house but hell dare I proclaim- we were efficient!Furthermore, they did the whole newscaster for a day thing exactly as ours! well, our studio is definitely,definitely nicer. Saw the locvp cam we used- my darling...mummy misses u so.The guy had the cheek to say that Uni attachments/internships were better than poly. Excuse me, Mr all surround sound and digital S, we are the ones producing the editors,djs and what nots. So the round out? MCMers, dont bother. really,dont.I know you might think you will score well and be published in the dean list but reliving the same experiences and having constant deja vus for 3/4 yrs back to back is not worth it. I do not speak for all im sure. Some of us just love the shit we put up with in this most misunderstood course. Well,then go on ahead, the doors await you. But do not hinder our studious counterparts from their whack at the old studio production modules and their chance to say - that is a wrap people. Oh ya, they are number 48th in the world rankings. *hey shid, had a cool time!hope that balloon wish comes true. NUS. Numero 18th in the world. Tomorrow. So much for the chalet party. Sorry Jos. I know,i know, there is always next year but honey, future time cannot be planned. I would at least want to know what I am getting myself into. I might end up not going to U after all but i will be damned if i have no backup plan. I am so keen on their arts and social sciences courses. I have to get my brother to approve of course. Tequila mockingbird awaits. peace.

2006-03-10T05:30:00.000-08:00

Dreaming of a west side story Why am I still holding back my tears In this loneliness there's nothing left to fear Every chord still seems a wonder How we could be together Everytime I ask if this would be the last Why am I still talking to myself Hoping you will have the keys to my cell Every song might calm the weather But it just draws me deeper How do I get out of this I think~ I never will I had 2 bad days back to back. The main contributing factor being my PMS. Shut up dick-heads. I didnt get to renew my passport photo. I didnt get to print my A4 picture. I didnt get to go to the IT fair to get my cam. ( that may change very soon…) -U heard it through the grapevine?

2006-02-22T07:05:00.000-08:00

Minah nak confess, jadi dengar. Sialah, tadi aku tengok teman anugerahku, tak sangka sah budak-budak tu bleh act. Not bad ar? At first, aku ingat si faizal nye character macam kedi-kedi gitu, rupanye, orang die memang gitu!! Kakaka, sorry bang eh, main-main je. Actually the story, not bad ah. Storyline die pun best. Moral die ade. Jangan pandang budak2 yang lepak kat Clarke quay macam sampah, die org pun bleh belajar tau, atau kerja tau. I feel bad ah. Aku pun pernah fikir gitu. Terus mak nye si izad, macam pernah nampak sak. Aku yelah, budak poly. Pernah jugak org dengar aku masuk poly aje, tengok smacam. Macam aku bodoh ke ape. Eh, dengar sini ar, anak lu masuk j.c. ingat bagus sangat ke ape? J.c. tu tengok dulu, j.c. ape, jgn pakai sembuh aje nak berlagak.Sorry ah chik kalau saya nak masuk j.c.,saya bleh masuk ah, mane2 pun saya bleh. Kalau action kaya, tu lu nye pasal. Aku tak kaya asalkan aku dapat kerja, dapat sekolah, ada rumah, keluarga aku okay eh, tak complain ah. Ish, kerja penat 2 penat ah. Tapi bukan penat buat kerja, penat lepak sia. Nyari ok ar, sal kawan Jia wei dating. Bleh cakap bukan2. Ade org main basketball pun okay lar. Haha, jia wei cakap kalau aku gi, die miss aku. Tau pun, tiap-tiap hari cakap besar. Sial lah, besok kerja pagi. Balik makan sia, save duit. Lepas kerja, keluar! Yea! K,k. kene blah. Nak ngok cerita american’s next top model.

2006-02-18T07:58:00.000-08:00

the dog that saw a rainbow. & boy was it beautiful. Day took a turn of spontaneity when I had the craving for secret or is it sweet recipe’s marshmallow cake. Anyway, Nads couldn’t make it then so oh well. Had mcwings. Yes…clogging of the arteries. But you only live once. Early yest. night, we had decided to go Balcony instead of shisha since the monument has been standing 2 storey high like apple in the garden of eden. We were supposed to meet at 5.30. The we, I have no idea. Nads and I chilled at Spinellis, and then walked abt and then went to go find Celeste at paragon. At first, from afar, we thought she wasn’t working. – wah, ah gong so fast take leave ah…. But there she was! She looked like…like a Ralph Lauren sales lady, yes. Chit chat, caught up with some gossips…girl stuff. Went back to Heeren to meet up with the rest. Peeps who showed up: Kamille, who finally got off the traffic jam from JB to meet us, in her virgin heels. Kenneth, whom I thought resembled so much like Harry and I really thought he was malay. He’s so effeminate, I like! Said he knew me from Nad’s pictures. Right…There was my chicka- Cherry or her full name I cant pronounced. Perlin, Joshua- funny story included-, Jerryl( unsure of spelling bro.) and Andrew. Oh ya, Darryl. Haha. We queued at the Balcony and then everybody decided that the food was abit too ex. So we decided to split. Those who wanted to consume ate at TCC and those who felt like getting a little booze went to the Alley bar. EF-U-See-K, they didn’t let us sit inside coz we were all way below 21 or 25. Acid bar wouldn’t let us in coz some of us were not yet 18- who cares abt the bloody months! Anal managers. So we sat at pre-rouge with Jerryl’s numerous attempts at getting us some shit to drink. We gave up and yes, proceeded back to the Balcony. ID checks of course, they had the common sense to only see the year. WE were in. It is so posh and luscious and the ambience was sensual yet a tad tropical. We sat around the Jacuzzi coz the beds were all reserved. We Ordered up. Nads and I had the ehem–fruit punch-, darryl had the really nice whiskey sprite while the boys had their beers. From the words of Nads- they knew how to mix the drinks-. Gulped mine down in less than 15 mins, had to get another one yo. I mean, c mon fruit punch. The rest joined after and the Shirley temples came out, more beer etc. Shah and his friend joined us, I got to do my Din joke-made my day. Had my virgin lime margarita. Sa-WEET. Jerryl finally got up and into the Jacuzzi. I thought someone was gonna kick us and ban us for life but everyone was cool about it. The water was luke warm. His pants were wet, boy looked like he had some major wee. I realize that most mcmers get along just fine and its just in the way you click- that is if your name doesn’t start with M and ends with an N or have something stuck up your booty. We’re all the same; and im glad. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. The fun was well timed. Im ready to work now, so that I can have more of these moments. Hey, spent 21 bucks on drinks alone. See u at the balcony.

2006-02-16T06:08:00.000-08:00

My calling. nothing i can do. Today was a mix of gloom, joy and bitching. The class realised that today would be the last time we would all be together. Suey2, it was in Boeys class for assessed tutorial. We did ok, i thought. Anyway, after the eagle has landed( T106 joke), we headed down to 56 lobby,yes,near the self-service terminals ( farand & faridah joke), we took class photos. It only occured to me then they the board of middleaged hoos of the school of fms would split the classes up. It is not confirmed but a definite possibility. None of us wanted that. well, most of us. I love my class. sure, we have our cliques but there's no politics- at least not major ones- and at the end of the day, we manage to work together and chill together. So,i dedicate this post to my class. ( i will upload the photo once i get one copy) part of the reason i didnt join SI was coz i didnt want to go on w/o my friends. now, i find out, either way, i might have to. the girls and I walked like ants around campus talking about how we'll miss some of our daily antics. Nobody will say immo-ba-lize. nobody will be there to continue and then...and then... . Nobody will take photos of what looks like CB or envelope the persona of an ah lian from bendemeer rd. Nobody will say - hey...-when I say - wah,so hot-. Nobody will call me -Mon...- except rahman lah. Nobody will act like lesbians and pretend to be each other's soulmates and say -power of love- or ambition to be a porn producer and go into such details until my virgin mind cant sleep at night. Nobody will act like a sissy willingly and bow to our every whim and stand every comment. the rest of my class are insane. nobody will ever be as black as them. nobody will ever be as alert to hot guys as her. nobody will be as funny or as devoted to ramly as her. Nobody will flare nose like him. nobody will sound so political and aggressively passionate as her. nobody will ever point out the cons of shaking leg than her. nobody will ever be as talented or as drama-ish as him. nobody will ever be well, as talked about as her. nobody will ever be so nice as her. sidetrack- i just saw someone who looked like shah(the FSV) on tv-suria. weird. better tell nad. it is him!! and the guy...look so familiar but cant place him. ah! Well, on the up side, I do get to make more friends. Ah, well. We will see in 2 months. Alright, fringe festival. damn, I am down for 5 days! good news is that its in the evening but hey, what if i cant cope with work. What if work doesnt let me participate with its shifts and attitude. I am definitely not doing 2nd and 3rd. But it is so cool! I cannnot wait. I got to be at substation damn it. ooh, problem though- have no idea what im doing. I miss the Arts, any part of it. It’s nice to know im doing something. Hope I get to scoop a notebook or 2. hehe, Avi2. Right,right.

2006-02-14T07:15:00.000-08:00

my class is T106. today, I celebrate my 107th post. today was my final speech presentation. Woke up late. woke up on the wrong side of the bed-literally and yes, woke up sick. the fact was that i was slipped into a black, heat -absorbing and enervating blouse with my pudgy/dwarfy sorry excuse for feet into a pair of really loud and attention grabbing heels. Other than that, of course not sidelining my shambled throat, everthing else was dandy. I liked our presentation.I guess primarily because I love our topic in the first place. I have no idea why Im obsessed or to put it leniently- informed- about hollywood and its workings. Im ashamed to say that i know more star names than i do the ministers of states. i forget,from time to time, who the mp of my grc is. i just remember him shaking my dad's hand and giving him a rose. wtf lah, a rose?? My dad kept it for 2 days and i gleefully watched it deteriorate from blushing red to maroonish goth. I then tore it up into little pieces and stuck it under my book. symbolic eh. after presentation,we had lunch. 2 of my amkss school mates are working at gallileos. amksians- it was ahmad and osman. The latter was a waiter and the former must have helped out in the kitchen coz I didnt see him on the flr. I knew he looked familiar just couldnt place him till he spoke. I dont think they saw me, then again, would they recognise me. ah. After calling me for approx. 4 times, inez finally got her way coz Has decided to work with me. so ironic- she called me during the presentation break and i still didnt give until Has and i discussed during lunch. Its a good job, i mean, my savings arent gonna see me thru year 2 so guess gt put out the effort. lethargic sia. speaking of yr 2. ah. so daunting to even mention it. the modules, out of 12, i'd prob. like my IS modules,rad., tv. and yep, that's abt it. got to watch my voice. recording the capsule tmr-hopefully. peace out radicals.

2006-02-12T03:57:00.000-08:00

I dont fucking get it. extension,extension, till when might i ask? the entire youth community who has seen a music video is probably queueing up. I would love to see a real id. queue from now till next sunday. is it really the overwhelming response or the fact that of the thousands that show up they can only count on a handful ( baby hands) making it through the judges.Isnt there a better use of your god damn time then to brave the forsaken natural disasters for a one in a 100 thousandth chance of making it 'big' or dare i say 'small' since we are a red dot? Is the appeal of being the next SI that huge? god, for all our sakes the next si better not be someone who has its head stuck up its... - done by enraged alter ego- emopsychedelico. i meant no offence. well, not entirely.

2006-02-10T19:38:00.000-08:00

Sick to the bone p.s. nadhirah kamaruddin, the grp date can only be next sunday. morn-aftnish. we shld rethink the kite-flying idea.ka peesh? p.s.s did I ever do my immortal?? Im stumped. Im sick. Worst - home sick. I missed radio today which could affect our chances of perfecting the capsule assignment. What a blow a C+ is. My head is throbbing. Its like theres a giant brick ludged in between my nerve endings. My back is killing me. I cant chew properly. Doctors are a bunch of pansies. Got through the day with perfect 10 and my hands glued to my keyboard- trying to finish the pro. Script. thank god prop essay is done!daph, do chill more next time.praise the god. It’s an omen. Doesn’t matter, wasn’t going to do it anyways. I like school. Freaky huh? Yes, I’m still Freddy. I wanna suck yr 2 with a bunch of psychos I do call friends. The catch phrase “ if you have a dream, chase it” did it for me. This aint no dream of mine. Yes e., it really isn’t. My reasons were selfish though I was fooled into thinking that it was noble. I’m god damn 17, what the hell do I know about cutting an album or signing autographs( which change everyday btw) or being a role model/inspiration leader? You shouldn’t take the place of someone who wants it 100 times more than you. O level results came out today. Starsh,starsh, chill girl. The teachers are such hypocrites. When I wanted to go poly last yr, I prob had to lick their shoes to gain approval. Today, they were singing the praises of this so happened to be glamorous course as a ‘wise option’. Whateva. Did y’all know that last year’s cut off for MCM is 10 (ELR2B2)- The highest for all the media courses. Let me step into the persona of a 10 year old pig tailed girl and say “ Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh”. Arshad dude don’t give up! There’s always FSV… I remembered the o level blues. On the day itself, I was later than everyone. Figures. Nurul gave us the friendship cards. (I still have mine dear!) The 4 of us sat at the canteen and made fun of the sec.1s. Went into the hall and none of the teachers could look at us in the eyes. Peter pan talked about how our batch sucked. His own words “Most of u will be crying.” They showed the statistics. 100% pass for thai and music- cracked us the hell up. I rmb lots of peeps were in shambles. I was the only one who didn’t have anyone to call. Pathetic huh? Pams cried too. We had wanted to go MCM together so badly. Elias wanted to slap me when I reconsidered coming to MCM. I rmb some nunus thought I got 8 whn wht they were lookin at was the number of papers i took. I rmb walking up to take the slip and mrs ong asked why I looked so slack. I told her i didnt care anymore. she just did her signature sealing of the eye lids followed by the side lip pout. I wished I could have been there to see my jnrs. I shld go back sn. Then again, what do i have to prove?Ah! my god damn back!!

2006-02-08T07:30:00.000-08:00

im the second, to the first I dont know what came over me. I suppose, its the propaganda that's been going around. It's a hype and me being hyper, followed or dare I say succummbed. I have listen to myself make a decision and then over-turn it, less than 10 seconds later. i dont know why i thought about it in the first place so dont ask me why yes and why no. At the end of the day...or night? I have so much to lose and so little to gain. Then again, how can i properly measure it? how do you measure passion, a burning need to just break free and be back to who you were. how do you measure privacy, the human right to have skeletons in the closet. Im good. right here,on this spot. It is basic human nature to want more than what u got. but does it apply to wanting what you know is rightfully yours? Its not my dream. i didnt want the basics of it in the beginning. And yet, I accepted it. embraced, made something out of it. Then, shit happened and i suppressed it. I suppressed it so much that i felt my soul dying. I lost a part of me that day. For months, i thought i would not get it back. yea, everything seems the same on the outside but something was just missing. i thought i could be content with what i have/been doing but that 'something' missing makes all the difference. Other than the personal agenda, there is always ego. Ego will always come to play, hell yea. you got something that could be better than most of what u see, then prove it right? God, as arrogant as that sounds, i aint lying. alright, so unless something big/influential happens. I'm foregoing it. A little cognitive dissonance at first but at the of it all, I'll still be me. a little less me but a happy me. A VUa.

2006-01-30T21:51:00.000-08:00

It came to my attention that the last 3 of my posts have been reviews.well, boo-hoo. In accordance to the upcoming fantabalistic open house of my institution of learning, I thought it would be appropriate that I try to persuade you nimwits who's only dream is to be in the glamourous school of ef-M-ass. Well, hello to yous. Why come to this course? First and foremost, we have the best lecturers. that is right. They include . a guy who mail-ordered( oh sorry, internet-ordered) a bride after a previous failed marriage. : a guy who is afraid of his own class and a potential feminist bisexual with the beliefs of a potential political leader. ( hey, wait, same guy right? oh.) . a saucy little spunk who used to smoke weed/drink/party in a lesbian pub and aint afraid to tell it to the face of a subordinate faculty visiting lecturer " get off, this is my class. I've booked it for 14 weeks! This is room 06-01! yours is 03-01! Cant you read or do you have your head so far up your arse?- well, she did it with more class of course. - a canadian/hong-konger who likes to kick it around with the boy and girls with his straight-up comments and fascination with the word MEL. Oh, he likes to be called (marc Anthony's first wife). : a mixed up/gender-confused/against corporate & proper societal ideals/rugged and presumably intellectual guy. His sister is a lesbian. He sometimes forget who he is. He dresses up as a girl every saturday because all his life he has always wanted to be part of the dominating species. He tries too hard to be young. . A lazy quarter pounder looking ang mo who believes that grades dont matter, grades are like bras and pamela anderson ( drew carrey). -30 something year old hot blooded male with tattoos and piercings of an 18 year old, possibly attracted to feminine females with slight dislocated necks and helium voices. . oh yes, the creme de la creme. A woman who might have been born as the reincarnation of hitler who indeed believes all media students are pompous/filthy/scum of the earth blah blah. I resent the filthy part yes? now,arent those just the best, most original reasons to come to the institution obsessed with abbreviations. Xplore new ways to get kicked out of school. Xcite your parents till they get a heart attack and leave you all their inherittance. and yes,Xcel by competing with the best just to end working as a research asst./data-entry chick on the B1 level of Mediacorp/SPH. See you soon. p.s. to any lecturer who is probably now infuriated after reading this post, relek lah, we media students and our big mouths right? Peace.

2006-01-22T05:08:00.000-08:00

ROCK FOR G00D If you have not got the tickets yet, kick yourself in the balls now! ( kudos to those of you that do!) One of the biggest, most anticipated collition concert organized by RGS, sponsored by Music for good and our local, commercialized radio station 98.7FM. You: pray tell, who plays. Freddy: Well folks, the line-up is one I am unbelievably impressed with. Commercialised bands only of course Electrico, Ronin, The Suns, Crossbred, West Grand boulevard. 1,000 max capacity, free seating at RGS itself. You : Woman, quit stalling and tell me when? Freddy : Uh-huh, indeed, burn this date to your memory music junkies- 4th February, Saturday. Time: 6-10pm. Refreshments and merchandise will be sold. Now, at the end of the day, it is a charity event so come on and support yea! More details at www.musicforgood.com In other news, yes, the Suns are back. More notoriously known as the boredphucks(pronounced as yes, bored fucks), are back from making it big in the land down under. Bringing back with them their hit album and for Singaporeans only, a special 2 song bonus tracks. One actually involves sang nila utama, sir Stamford raffles and William fack-wa forming a band. Indeed, our local boys havent forgotten the 411 on history eh. After they were banned from playing in Singapore( they shout hokkien vulgarities during live gigs), the boys struck it big in Australia after a long, determined strive. They’ve played one show so far at the sembawang music festival. The RGS one will be numero 2 and finally the biggest one is at esplanade,19/03/05 for the music festival. Check Mr Browns interview/podcast with the band. A glimpse: 1. the suns talk about their experience in Australia, with rooms and toilets with half a toilet bowl. 2. tips for local bands trying to make it. 3. a whole load of Singapore humour!bloody funny sia! 4. how every dick,mat,ah seng may not exactly know Oasis but can still play to Wonderwall. How true. In other news, I was at lib. On Sunday doing prop. Essay research when I met one of my former juniors. Ive always known that she wanted to go to Mass Comm. And got forbid she did short of almost jumping me when she saw me. Girl panicked after she thought she lost my number. Anyways,shes one of the 2 of my jnrs that have it set to come to MCM. It was so weird, almost deja vuish/nostalgic to see her excitement. I swear that girl had a whole load of questions prepared to ask me if she ever got he chance and my god did she fire away. It came to my attention that her friends want to go to TP than come to NP, all because theyve already been to TP’s open house. No offence, cause I do have friends in TP( cheers Janice), but what do they have that we dont? Were the ones who came up with the course first. We’re the ones that have the 20 million dollar, top notch equipment stacked, hidden and safely secured in a building that could pass off as existing in the Japanese occupation days and we’re the ones that produces radio and tv talents with their faces permanently plastered in level 9s hall of fame. I mean, hello? Sure, we don’t have a fast food joint. Sure, we could use with a little,ok maybe more, paint here and there. Sure, we could have thought of a better use for our resources than to build a freaking outdoor plaza near our god damn bus stop. Sure, we could hire better, more meticulous, less boring lecturers and possibly those that have a resume for appearing in TV. But god damn it, we’re the ones with the aggregate. Aren’t we? So, I never thought I have to do this but here goes. Np open house: 2-4th February 2005. Were the best, and if you havent heard us say it, it’s cause we dont have too.

2006-01-18T05:29:00.000-08:00

Freddys 10 things you’d wanna know about the 63rd golden globes 1. Sandra Oh, playing Christina on greys anatomy beat out Diane Keaton(boston public) to win best supporting actress for a tv-drama. I remember her famous lines in one of the episodes: “ the only chinese I know is on the back of chans menu. Besides I’m Korean”. I love her character (sa-assy,smart and competitive). Caught her playing the principal in P.D.1 and diane lane’s best friend in (‘something’ Tuscany). She looked so old both movies. 2. Geena davis took home best actress for tv drama for being the first woman president in commander in chief (coming soon to 5). Her “ girl-tug-skirt-joke” was bloody funny. Former comedian with her previous hit series, still got it. 3. Melanie Griffiths daughter Dakota is this years golden globe girl. Its a tradition where the 2nd generation of a “golden globe family” is dubbed the golden globe girl-directing famous stars to and fro the stage and floor. Her grandpa, then her mom won ‘em. Mel’s married to Mr Zorro/puss in boots-antonio banderas. 4. Hot damn, Ryan phillipe shows up to support legally blonde wifey- Reese Witherspoon. She took home best actress in a motion pic-comedy/musical for Walk the line. She plays June Cash(country singer) opp. Joaquin Phoenix playing the country legend Johnny Cash. He too clinched best actor for the same category. RIP June and Johnny. 5. Desperate housewives-marcia,teri,felicity and eva – nominated but what about the odds, they lost to Mary Louise. At least Eva got nominated this year. No surprise though, they scored with best tv drama-musical/comedy. Season starts 6 Feb. 6. Johnathan Rhys Myers, a virtual unknown took on the role of American legend-Elvis himself- and clinched best actor for a min-series. Johnny boy made his debut on screen playing the coach in Bend it like beckham. Also stars in woody allen’s Matchpoint. 7. Zack from Scrubs and Mandy Moore…together? 8. Brokeback mountain-woohoo- won best picture for drama,screenplay,director-ang lee,original score. Stars Jake Gyllenhaal, couple Michelle Williams and Heath ledger & PDs Anne Hathaway. Controvesial/complicated love of 2 cowboys. Not surprise if its RA in Singapore. Is it just me or does every movie with the word mountain make it to the globes. E.g. cold mountain won a couple themselves. 9. Anthony Hopkins was honoured and presented with the cecil b demille award. I remember the scene in silence of the lambs where he had the conversation with Jodie foster. Freaked me to bits, watched it when I was 12. 10. LOST took best tv series-drama. I had no idea who was going to win this time, grey’s anatomy was one of them nominated. There you have it, the 63rd golden globes. A year of great movies and even greater tv series. Next up…Oscars…

2006-01-11T05:18:00.000-08:00

My hit Fi5ve 5. Kt Tunstall- Eyes to the telescope thank you np lib, KT tunstall album has been ripped into my ipod. My favs include the hhit: black horse and cherry tree, other side of the world,miniature disasters. Set of 11 blues-rockish songs. Her style reminds me of maroon 5's sunday morning. hmmm. chick's got the voice like nora jones and the guitar techniques are some we havent heard in awhile. I like how she represented herself as a ship in one of the songs. that's...interesting. 2.The veronicas- the secret life of the veronicas - aussie set of sisters ready to break into the us market with a pop-rock/semi-punk sounds to the likes of the faders. They recently got sued by archie comics for copyright infringement. They did create themselves from the bitchy-get whatever she wants personality of Veronica. Record sales should cover that. perfect 1 played 'forever'- their first single. not too shabby.i just like their band name. 3. Kelly c- Thankful - Kelly clarkson's my idol. numero uno, i would murder for her voice. she's black trapped in a country chicka bod. Compliments to Np cd collection, I retrieved 'Just a miracle'. damn the blues on that song, so fine.one of my fav. love songs def. kinda like one of mariah carey's older songs- forever.back when she forgot she was black of course. :) 4.Carrie underwood- Some hearts -AMI winner, carrie underwood's back in action. Saw her do billboard 2005-new song: some hearts. The college grad with the country flavour still got the edge it took for her to win. the voice too. 'Starts with goodbye' awesom, a visually stunning song( u can picture what she's singing). Eminem getting remarried to Kim. Sometime during this month. True love. The things it does to you. - Took a listen to his album awhile back. I practically wept through 'Gone'. Its a confession, a self-realisation,an ephiphany. It's sweet,harsh but mostly its real. Superstars dont got the perfecto mundo that we claim to envy. Shit happens to them too. The song's my pic. for no.1 play. Peace out music junkies

2006-01-10T16:37:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to be in my IS class. I am supposed to be suffering the wrath of a bi-atch- according to denise. I am supposed to be somewhere else. Instead, I am on the 3rd level with a bird's eye view of the lazy campus below. Im in solitude. I have already been absent once. My attendance has fallen to 85%? So basically i have used up my last 'pass' by not attending today. I was late. Alot. reached the heavenly institution @ 8.18. Denise warned me not to come. I trust her judgement. i was not going to spend my money on mc. So, here I sit, just chilling. not too good a start to the day yea? hungry.

2006-01-09T01:59:00.000-08:00

I got the wo wo wo wo wo wo...monday blues...oh, yea. first lecture of the day is writ com. almost 70/100 times im late. Today, I was really late/absent. From the moment I boarded 74 at approximately 7.30, I knew. I felt, almost like a transportation sixth sense or something that my desire to be on time for baldy's class will not be met. I was right. The jam was bad. real bad.almost ridiculous. I got a good seat, with a good view. I remembered my upper body being jerked back and forth,back and forth well, let's just say plane turbulence seemed like a piece of cake. It was funnier to see passengers from other vehicles around me go through the same thing. I fell asleep for a moment. I was at the japanese association place thing. I woke up, say 5 mins later and I realised I was still in the same spot.Chicka behind me was laughing with her friend on the phone. clearly, she too realised the eternal halt. i suppose it was at macs that i decided not to bother to class because i would be marked absent anyway. I got off at the school bus stop. Surprised was I when I saw lina just sitting there. She was waiting for Marcus.Well,as i learned in socpsych today there are certain things you can do when you're in a grp. facing up to baldy is one of them. I scraped the breakfast idea and lina and I grabbed a cab. The guy was a cabbie from the deeepest reachest of hell! We wanted him to uturn into the school. He practically shouted at us "NO" because of the traffic jam. Then while driving he kept complaining about the bloody jam. Yes idiot, we KNOW THERES A FUCKIN jam. halfway through, he had the audacity to switch on the meter. It was what 200 metres or less from the bus stop to SIM bus stop. I didnt wanna pay. But when we were reaching Lina took out to pay him. Its 2.40. He told us to faster get out. Lina shouted back at me that she was handing him the money. As though if he just waited the world would end, he refused and told us to get out. Lina just told him to shut up. We had to walk all the way up the hill to lecture hall. clearly, we deserved the torture of sitting at such close proximity to baldy. Lina and I wanted our para. essays back. suppose that's all we came for. I did surprisingly ave.good. I swear I thought I had plagirised. I mean, I knew shit about tsunamis so i grabbed alot of info. furthermore, I hated my essay. I still do, reading it is such a bore. Michelle pheiffer, in dangerous minds once said -it is harder to keep a grade than to earn it. you can get an A once and that'll be it. I suppose, for the rest of the sem, I'll just maintain whatever i can get. :) Socpsych sucked, lunch good,radio-slept through,speechcom-chewed bubble gum through it. Was supose to go esp. and grab my book but i took the heavy downpour as a sign. hari raya haji tomorrow. hmmm. peace. yr one will be over soon...woo...

2006-01-04T19:59:00.000-08:00

Post new year testis. From pussycat to pussycat: Cheezes Kryst Josie, get a fuckin life. Hi. Yes. I’m not dead. Against popular belief I’m sure. Not that u’d care rite? Been gone awhile since Ho ho ho season madness. Spent the next couple of days, wondering if I was ever in the e.r. for trauma because it sures hell felt like someone hit me with a sledge hammer over the holis. Thought I lost my phone, again. Turns out I didn’t bring it one time. Spent X mas getting drunk and transforming into a graceful cow on 2 legs. In between: music.tv.slack.work.school. ( they are separated by fullstops) Spent new year’s…a lil less knocked up. Pieces of suppressed flashbacks. -sloppy smoochies under the mistle toe. Yuck. - new fusion game of ‘New Years I have never’. Basically, you go in circle and say what you want to do/have done in the new year. Those around who have done it and WANT TO DO it…drink up amigos. Some interesting ones: Person: In the new year, I want to cheat on my partner. Reaction: everyone in the circle except a few drank up. The shit? Most of them, their girlfriend/boyfriend’s sitting right next to them…drinking. Sweet aint it the sound of slaps… - doing the Singaporean drunkard association version of the texas hustle to lynyrd skynrd’s sweet home Alabama. Hence the graceful cow on 2 legs. - the non-alcoholic drinks got spiked…twice…lemony…something. - whole bunch of knocked up peeps smacked themselves, trying to walk through a glass door. Real smooth. - idiot sat on his phone. So it starts ringing and vibrating. He’s so out of it, he doesn’t get that the rest of us are staring directly at him. My girl Josie finally stepped up J: You. Get up. Idiot: what? J:Your…(clears throat. Hp’s directly under his weeney). Your phone’s ringing. Could you answer it? Idiot finally hears it. Too late. Missed call. Idiot: Oh, sorry, I thought it was just me. I could have puked and swallowed it again and puked again before this guy breathes his next breath. ------ Had time to flashback to the past with my best-ests. Yea, I miss it. You can do so much of something for someone/ppl and then one day, its just over. All your life, you WANT IT to be over . Get out of the system that has so much politics in it. As you look back, you realize that you can only remember the tinniest fraction of what it is you did. Of what it was that made u happy, sad, broke your heart and filled your soul. But life is short. If we spent half as much time living the present as we do, looking to the past, we might be in better states. If we spent half as much time remembering who we were than what we are now, we might actually know what kind of person we’ll become. If we spent half as much time pondering on the ‘what if’s than the ‘now what’s, we might actually have an inkling to the ‘ hell yea, I did good’s. All i need to remember who i am, is a mirror. Photos help to see whom I’m assoc. with. Self-confessions get old real quick and leads to unhealthy digression. then again. maybe not. I’m one to say right? My friend asked me whats my new year resolution. I loathe that question. Dear god. The reason why holis only come once a year. peace.

2005-12-21T04:42:00.000-08:00

For my info paper, im analysing movies. ( i know my school's cool).came across a couple of really, really good quotes. Now rmb, not all are funny or violent or crude. e.g.s Peter Parker: [relating to M.J. what he supposedly said to Spider-man] I said, um, Spider-man, I said, uh, the great thing about M.J. is when you look in her eyes, So, been watching em. And and she's looking back in yours, everything feels not quite normal, because you feel stronger, and weaker at the same time. You feel excited, and at the same time, terrified. The truth is you don't know what you feel, except you know what kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable, and you weren't ready for it. Mary Jane: You said that? Peter Parker: Oh, something like that... 2.Pulp Fiction(1994)- Quentin tarantino, USA- Miramax [Marcellus is telling Butch to take a dive] Marsellus: The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps 1.minority report(2002),Steven spielberg,20th century Fox Agatha: You can choose... Neo sees a black cat walk by them, and then a similar black cat walk by them just like the first one] Neo: Whoa. Déjà vu. [Everyone freezes right in their tracks] Trinity: What did you just say? Neo: Nothing. Just had a little déjà vu. Trinity: What did you see? Cypher: What happened? Neo: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just like it. Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat? Neo: It might have been. I'm not sure. Morpheus: Switch! Apoc! Neo: What is it? Trinity: A déjà vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when they change something. Fight Club, David Fincher,(1999). Narrator: If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? Narrator: This is crazy... Tyler Durden: People do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it. 10 things i hate about you Walter Stratford(dad): I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My mama didn't raise no foo' Patrick: See, who needs affection when I have blind hatred? 50firstdates Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car] Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that! Lucy: Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car... Henry: Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around. Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT! See for it yourself: www.imbd.com If you come across any good ones, feel free to tag. :)

2005-12-21T04:26:00.000-08:00

Tis mine, finally tis mine. **Think of something you can do, an amazing ability, a gift of sorts.You dont have to state it. Think of what you would trade it for. Or if you would trade it for anything at all. If I could trade, I would. I would trade it for a better home environment. i would trade it for a better family relationship I would trade it for love, though it's what led me to it in the 1st place. I would trade it for him to find the one he loves and live his life more than it is now I would trade it for security I would trade it for popularity,ironic as it is I would trade it for money, yes, I am a sell out I would trade it for time, more time, or the ability to turn back I would trade it for intelligence I would trade it for diligence I would trade it for self-love/self-respect I would trade it for the riddance of immense hatred and jealousy. I would trade it, in a heart beat. Would you? My mates havin a party @ gotham, have fun!my friends scared get raid.:)

2005-12-18T02:55:00.000-08:00

-Ronin - Typewriter. Videos of their perfs will be uploaded by 20th dec. look em out. We made it! After getting lost for about 30 mins, we actually found it. I thought victoria hall/asian civilisation museum was arts museum. Selene thought the singapore history museum which was under RENOVATION was the arts museum. HAHA! both dead wrong. Farand save the day by directing us twice to the god damn museum. Thanks babe! the monument was picturesque. goth cum victorian cum clean cut. A couple of peeps were there. Saw the guy from Rushed, hair damn weird sia. a mass comer senior who sat right in front of us. Oh ya, they looking for a 3rd guitarist!! anyone interested? First up was amanda tee, 3rd place winner for youth alive. did a couple of originals, with a shaky start but its her first time doing a gig i heard. Really liked her vox on hotel california. She did a duet with Patrick or SIr patrick, founder of musicforgood, also member of typewriter.breakfast at tiffany's, awesome. Rushed was so mellow, i kinda got a lil swayed towards the sleepy side, but their first and last song's really good. Wanted to get their shirt but nah... leslie from the observatory was a lil out of place with the young crowd. I was impressed by the guitar -play though. selene yawned. WOOHOO! RONIN! RONIN! Le Ping ar? hees. He got us to move damn close to the plat, kinda made the whole setting really cosy. He's a funny guy, real prankster. I seriously had my doubts about em playing an acoustic gig but from the words of "le ping" : This may be an acoustic gig but ronin will always find a way to rock. They did with black maria. I got to 'sing', like Oh oh oh lar, whn le ping thrusted the mic to my face. lucky selene never delete one more moment, new song. really meaningful lyrics. I realise that as bad boy as ronin is, some of their songs are really "family" and "loved ones" themed. Awww... Final band, TYPEWRITER. wee... drummer William and basist Desmond are from Electrico. Amanda was there taking pics. Desmond so cute lar!! Did a lot of songs,my favs include where to go and enemy. Genre powerpop fits em. Rounds up 2005 Quiet:The new loud II. Still prefer some of the bands playing live butw thumbs up from me. :)

2005-12-16T20:19:00.000-08:00

IT's time to say it, goodbye, goodbye. -nad. photo me. -kamil&mal.photo me. -me. photo nad. smoke unclear sia. more pics at ladieM-lifeshots. Kudos to Said/Syed(spelling dunno) for leading the pack to the haven of Shi Sha, down Haji Lane. Outline? 6.30-7.45 Nad and I toured arab street, from back alleys to corridors to get some really cool shots with some pussys as well. Hee. Check em out at flickr. Mind you, cam phone okays. 7.45 Rendevous was at the sultan mosque. It felt so freaking ironic. The daunting monument standing over me and nad, as though judging us for what we were about to do. Paranoia… 8pm: So, the eager Mat imitators aka caleb,ken and the half bhai/black/stoner Malster decided to venture out and find the place themselves. What a hoot that turned out to be. We got lost, ended up at Baghdad strt, and had to turn all the way back to where we started. Along the way, the right way this time, popped into a cd shop. Saw a poster for The Marilyns but no eps avail. “ the other end of the receiver” costs 18, I hrd my friend got it for 10. bitch! Mal made friends with the owner?(I guess) because of their apparent love for dreadlocks. Guy’s was all the way to his ass. He got a bob Marley groove going on. Shop’s pretty off, off for me to make it habitual. But commonwealth so far! Sigh…shall grab em one way or another. Okok, back to shi shaing. The waiter was a lil disabled but he’s cute and we were nice. At least he’s got a job. Order of A couple of drinks and mixed of apple and strawberry shi sha. We were chilling like a couple of china men, on a semi-arabic/semi-geylang carpet. Took a while for the flavour to kick in but it was all warmed up by the time everyone was settled. Caleb they all bought booze and we had to hide and sneak it everytime the owner came around. Haha, funny story. I actually got it on clip. Faye: Caleb, I ask you get cranberry(booze),you get grapefruit. Caleb: Sorry, they’re the same colour. Nad: Colour, dunno how to see is it? Faye: Dick la you! Passing of the menthol smokes, which apparently enhanced the flavour of the shisha, crapping here and there, attempts at opening the cap using the side walls, sharing of the banana cake, LIT sips-barely 2 coz I had to go home alone, watching a partrol car linger by, kinda thought we had to go aniwaes. sweet nite. sweetness of the soul. said gd bye to more than just that. peace. NAD! your pics i send via email or transfer thumbdrive ks.

2005-12-14T04:48:00.000-08:00

Quiet: The New Loud II December 17, 2005, 7pm @ Singapore Art Museum $8 at the door (from 6pm) The follow-up to last year's Quiet: The New Loud, this concert features the enigmatic Leslie Low (The Observatory), hard rockers Ronin, power pop band TypeWriter, up-and-coming indie band Rushed and the talented 16-year-old singer-songwriter Amanda Tee in an intimate acoustic setting. www.musicforgoodorg.com Heading down myself. Hope to be able to get the tics b4 they run out. Pretty eager to see Amanda mostly. You gotta check her out. Heard her do cover of penny and me. copy & paste http://fored.dmusic.com/ been complaining about nothing new in my ipod, well, some improvements have been made Amanda Tee- More than words(duet with clarke) -penny and me Alanis Morisette- so unsexy - utopia (not exactly new, i know) couple of PV downloads. Suppose to hold me till i get "everything" album. sighs.

2005-12-13T04:56:00.000-08:00

i've realised something that i have never realised before. Faridah+doing work for more than 2 hours straight= ultimate disaster/epitome of confussion and disorientation. I've been starring at relatively, the same screen for oh...over 4 hours now. Why you may ask? Well, a lil thing called the paragraph essay. Yea. It's found under subsection 3B, in the cambridge dictionary under EVIL. Synonyms include cruelty,death,stress,ridicule. I recall doing my APA referencing at the lib just a week before, today! Yes, the running from the 2nd to the 3rd to the 5th back down to 2nd floor just to find a book that might as well have been the manifestation of a needle in a haystack.After locating the book, haha, the funny part, I found no use for it after all. The book that I ended up using was about 4m from where I had stationed to do my work. Which is yes, another story by itself, the "listen to old classics you've never heard off section" at the lifestyle lib. How D & gang found a way to make use of it, is pure genius. Oh course, its not allowed then. I dont think throughtout the time we were there, anyone felt the urge to come in. Partly because we had layed the floor with journals,periodicals,books and what not. It was our home away from home. It was the latest I had stayed in school for this sem. At least, I did my shit, which Im going to fail anyways and watched some tv. Now, here I am, venting my inner frustrations when I should be doing that god DAMN ESSAY... Before I started, I liked my topic. Heck, I felt sheer empathy towards it. Now, I hate even looking at the words " seismic" or "resulting" or " causing". The decision to blog is an impromptu one for fear that I might be losing my mind and this be my last testament. I started typing the lyrics of the song I was listening to, I kinda knew it was time to stop and take a breather. Here's a couple of my woozies. The aftermath of a Tsunami can be bad classified into effects such as physical,emo and psychological. It results in the rise and falls of the water surface Once a Tsunami is generated its impossible to be stopped. One must be aware of the telepathy( supposed to be tell-tale) Skipping contemp issues tomorrow. Sorry D. Gonna pump up on caffeine and blast the headphones and strive till the end. My end, that is. peace.

2005-12-12T03:11:00.000-08:00

hey guys,sorry for the idiotic zippy videos webbie that would not stream my precious videos, but i have found one that does. click on laideM's VIDEOS and find out yea. :) ooh, dunno whether can download anot. the 2 videos there are just trials, or listening pleasure/propaganda. :)

2005-12-12T02:21:00.000-08:00

*an audience's view. sorry lar, cam not high tech. Crazy cha bo: AaaaaaaH! Vinyl Summer ar! Wo ai ni men ahhhh!!! Was walking from interchange to the spot, when I saw a glow, a light; I saw a star. It was beautiful. On top of a gigantic Christmas tree( paragon lose sia). Then I heard it… Yes, the oh so familiar voice of ma man Elias from the Vinyl Summer. I only found out they were opening, couple of hours before. My initial purpose was…yes…RAFE! We’ll get to that. Stage set was nice. His mum came. How sweet. And nat. I remembered how he always drooled on Haoren. Good times…His mum and (dad?) goes to all his gigs. My mum probably dropped when I asked her to go nomad last year. Yes, digressing… Anyways, next up was a band, i couldnt even rmb lar. A lil messy and the lead kept doing this pendulum move of moving side to side.It seemed like it was one long, long, 15min song. keep in mind, music is subjective. RAFE!!RAFE!! I kinda thought they would open with their “everything” but what the hey, I loved everything. Not kidding. If time, and budget permits, might head down and get their album. Last but never the least, though slightly screwed… Vertical Rush. Sound system started out pretty bad, I couldn’t hear the lead. A couple of lame jokes bout the mega size Fiona xie billboard. Get this, they did a Christian song. In a town, practically over-run by the other minority. Still, they had stage presence. A real good choice for putting them last. i love y'all still. Vinyl Summer, band worth looking out for and catching. Details of their next gig will be posted, when i invade their webbie to see lar! Support the young ones ppl, they are our only hope for a progression from artistes like hilary Duff. * sori HD fans. Summary of the 2005 celebration tree concert at tam-pines: - 2 animated, animals on heeleys. The panda needs to get stabbed - some people just cant play bumper cars and its really fun making…fun. - one-sided plea, against coming to MCM. C’mon lar, you guys are so made for FSV. So, on to business, anybody wants to place bet on what Elias’s N results and Arshad’s O results may do so, effective midnight. Nothing is too outrageous. *Im kidding...really.

2005-12-10T20:25:00.000-08:00

bad monkey,no more. my emo shit stage has halted. As opposed to fighting the very fact that I am indeed screwed and unfortunate, it has become clear to me that embracing my new screwed up life/lifestyle is way more profitable. so,sunday the 11th is a slack day. Though my mcm counterparts, many of whom will surely beg to differ. Do not worry, young, kan chiong souls, I have done what it is needed, which is...pretty much nothing. All I am waiting for now are a couple of emails and I'll be back on the psycho cursed treadmill which is the last week of sem2,term2. things to deal with? - the fact that my grammar skills have been questioned. -writing an essay that will prove to be the greatest test of my APA skills -a commercial script that will reflect, I am a corny and non-creative conformist -dealing with danny boey, whom I'm sure is now biased against us,"skippers" -politics of school and world. Heading out later,if the weather allows and if someone doesnt cancel on me.:). Dont know if i have to fork out money anot...hmmm.. Just finished watching monster in law. Oh wow,funny. Kinda felt lke déjà vu. Girl meets guy Girl falls in love with guy Girl meets guy’s mom Guy’s mom wants to make girl’s life miserable. J. Lo did herself justice in this role. I’m a sucker for romantic comedies. I tell ya, some of the lines in there…made me have goosebumps coz it was so pure and good. I secretly wonder if my mother would be/already is like that. I mean, I’ve been cool with my guys mom, but then again…could it all have been just an act? Oh ma gawd! My bro. may find his soulmate. He may not. He may get married. He may not. It all depends on him and if destiny hears his call for the love of his, oh who the fuck are we kidding?! Depends on my mother lah! Here’s a slice of truth from the movie, if your mother in law does that to you, you’re bound to do it to your future daughter in law and the cycle goes on and on. God, I hope I don’t marry a momma’s boy. peace my lovelies. **good luck guys!

2005-12-06T21:34:00.000-08:00

denise, me and selene are at the lib. and we found this book: The Coxford Singlish Dictionary. Bloody funny. E.g.At Mcdonalds e.g.what you want: Mcdonald How you say: Meh Donner Big Mac Meal . . . . . . Mee Mare Mew Happy Meal . . . . . . Hair Pee Mew French Fry . . . . . . . Flench fly Filet O Fish . . . . . . . . Feese Burger Mushroon Burger . . . . . . . Mushloom Burger McNugget . . . . . . . .Meh Nargets Big Breakfast . . . . . . . . Bee Blare Fers Hot cakes . . . . . . Whore Cakes Orange Juice . . . . . . . Olen-Ju Apple Pie . . . . . . . Apper Pai Upsize . . . . . . . Up Sai Supreme Cock.(2002,April). The Coxford Singlish Dictionary. Singapore:Angsana Books

2005-12-05T05:39:00.000-08:00

Doomed to live-Emo psychedelico They say you need to change. It's the only way you know you're alive. It's hard, no one ever wrote a book or a guide to life, the real life that is. Sometimes, you gotta run with the pack. Most times, you just got to find your own pace.Just deal :) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- just got back home. pretty early. heck of a week to come. Thank god I did the APA, kudos to denise for taking the initiative. Even the anti-matter girl finished hers. ( dont say i never talk abt u in my blog ah!) referring back to my prev. post- said i dont wanna do music anymore, well, that's down the drain. I wrote 2 & 1/2 songs yest, with rash.'s bitched up prob, being the inspiration. Kinda poppish, but give me a break will yea? Relax A., I am a long,long,endlessly long way from an e.p. wanted to record it in the studio but just not in the right state of mind. or company. :) Dafy is so nice. Thank you. really, thank you alot. It's the thought and not the content of the thought that touched me. caffeine is starting to take its effect now.Emo psychedelico, logging off.oh how bout this for a change...DONT BOTHER.I know i dont. peace.

2005-12-02T18:11:00.000-08:00

emo psychedelico- its my turn i can't be indirect, coz that just aint my style.Im a girl therefore, certain mood swings and tantrums are appropriate. I dont know what Im doing with my life right now. Everything's kinda steady but is it really? Another problem would be that I dont know what I can do to make it better. Or if I want it to be better. I've come to understand this. a) may not go down that road again. left the legacy i wanted at amkss, so that's it. no dreams or desire to making it into something more. b) a self sabo really. i may have a great thing within my grasp but i can just let it slip away and not give a thought. c) really screwed up inside. getting wasted is one thing, but to drown my sorrows in it is just getting me to stoop to a level that I am just too adult for. In fact things got a lot shittier when i got up this morning than before i hit the sack at the break of dawn. my mum has real probs. My grandad's sick again. I lost my grandmother 2 years ago due to an 'old-age' sickness. I remember my mum's response. I remember her moans. I remember her uncontrollable waterworks. I remember the emptiness and sorrow in her eyes. I remember, not being able to do anything about it. Me, her daughter. Her useless, ignorant, selfish daughter. I guess, sometimes, we have to pluck ourselves from our own shoes and observe from an aerial,objective perspective. From where Im standing, Im pretty lucky. I have a lot to say, but I cant, Because I got to say it to right people, at the righ time. dont envy me dont pity me leave me be. for i will find my own way or figure the one I'm walking. peace.

2005-11-30T04:01:00.000-08:00

if you wanna go to the city of stars, would you help me find my girl Maria...she was once an actress and a beauty queen, but then the drugs took over and made her mean. I tried just so very hard, to make her feel alright, but she wished to get over to the other side. And since I can barely get her out of my mind,I'm asking you please help me to find... ( sarah conor's- wait till you hear from me) * As poly students, we come to the age where we want to do everything, try everything, get high and live life. We talk about how almost every teenager in US smokes weed,crack, coke and even heroin. We envy them. What we see in TVs and movies is but the polished reality. Here's the truth: Drugs kill. If the law doesnt get you, the drug that you crave life and death for will. Drug trafficking/possession of more than 15g of drugs= mandatory(compulsary) DEATH PENALTY, FRIDAY MORNING, CHANGI PRISON, ALONE. You only got to be 18 for you to die this death. 180 billion ppl around the world consume drugs.42% are teens. guess how many live to see their 21st birthday. When I was primary one, an 18 year old girl was hanged for drug trafficking. Of course, i wouldn't know her. I couldnt know her. I'll never know her. This friday, 2 december, morning, while my girl's preparing to board a plane to go overseas-I will miss her. A 25 year old man will be hanged because of the drug-trafficking. I love you. I want us to grow old together. I want to see you get your first career. I want to see you get married. I want to be there to say "your son/daughter has your eyes". I want to see you have your first fight with your child. I want you, to see your child through college. The only way this can happen, is if you stay alive. It's really not cool to die. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dearest beautiful people.Been swamp with stuff lately.Restlessness and frustrations didnt help either. but, all that tension has been released in a few ways. Wednesday took bus with Ian. Lets just leave it at that yes. Denise and me were early but apparently we are never early enough. i swear patricia sleeps in that classroom. We had our essay consultation and I went first! Kind of wanted to get it over and done. Either to hear " You're on the right track" or the unfavoured " This is BS faridah!". The former thankfully. But in turn for her wise old words, I got piles of research...piled onto me. Stuff and issues I had not thought of and for good reason. Shucks but what the hey. for IAC, we stalked a girl, all the way till we lost her at block 6. We had stupidly fantastical theories about her identity and why she does what she does. Kamilia, me and D. were like fish out of water lah. It's so F***in obvious that we didnt belong there. Measures we go to yea. I hope they dont kill me because I accidentally deleted our video of her eating slowly. God save me. Spent 2 hours in the lib. trying to get all the stuff I needed for the essay. So far, I haven't fully regretted choosing the essay. It kind of raised some animosity within me towards a certain government body. I realised that what we get to see is just 10% of what's really happening. So much for a transparent and open judicial system. Way to go!! Mediacorp studios sent my house a letter, asking permission to film my flat for some chi-Na drama serial called project 12. Hmm..okae, how about ..over my ROTTING, HAUNTED CORPSE. Tomorrow's another day. Having the sniffles now after something just now. something's wrong with my earphones. Either that or my left side is blocked because of just now. happy b'dae shidah. peace.

2005-11-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

the life one chooses isnt always the best, the most easiest or the most correct. It is just a chosen life. No one individual that exists on the earth has the right to lay judgement on one person and demand it be written in stone. So why is it, that what people say, what people think, matter so very much to some of us? Why is it that when we are teased for being a certain somebody with certain individualistic qualities, do we find fault in ourselves and not the assaillant. Why do we then look at ourselves in the mirror and form an overwhelming sense of self-hatred, ashamed at what we've become. Questioning the very identity we had longed fought to identify. why is it that when we hear the malicious whispers of rumours of others do we find the need to seek the source of it, not caring as to its credibility. we believe but do we seek to understand? We conform and participate so long as we do not stand to lose our pride but to gain on others' insecurities and inadequacies. I am one person. One girl. One teenager. A child of a world consumed by itself. I do not always speak the truth. I am not always right. what I think, what I say, what I do and not do should only matter to me. Me alone. So why is it, is that not the case. one who listens and adhere's to another's bidding and belief will find his soul lost in the confusion of his true self. peace.

2005-11-22T22:05:00.000-08:00

- hate myself for losing u- I had a very intense nightmare yesterday. Woke up trembling, afraid and frozen all fusionistically. Of course, i can only remember bits and pieces. It had 2 parts. You know how dogs can sense evil in someone right. my dream started with me investigating this murder and I was trying to get a flustered witness to talk to me. In the distance there was this blue eyed dog with a glance that sends me fraking out now. I told that it was alright. that the dog was harmless. I was wrong. It attacked me and left me wounded. I then had that falling feeling and i woke up-still dreaming. there was this guy, the image of the murderer was of an actor i had seen on CSI couple hours before. He pinned me down and took out a 38 calibur and pointed it to my head. I was executed. My eyes starred at the ceiling. I was panting. Rain was still pouring. I clenched the blanket with my hands but the rest of my body remained immobile. I closed my eyes again. this time, I was alive again. I was trapped in my own home with a friend. My deranged boyfriend was trying to kill me. ( so whats new?) The lock was going to get broken when it stopped.i remembered suddenly left alone. my friend disappearing. I then ran out and there he was waiting for me. I cant say what he looked like. He grabbed my hair and for a few moments, i could have sworn i felt actual breath on my face. I pleaded for my life. I told him i loved him. and he hesitated. I started crying. I woke up and it was exactly 6.30am. seconds later, my alarm clock rang. I couldnt and did not move for a whole minute. I was wondering what to do, what to say or if i was even going to get up. I did. I am here.

2005-11-21T19:55:00.000-08:00

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. it is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. You playing small does not serve the world, there is nothing enlightening in shrinking so other people wont feel insecure around you.we were all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us, its in everyone of us. And as we let our own light shine, we give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. coach carter-the movie Hey shidah, nurul, photos have been uploaded on my flickr. click on the link ladieM's-ifeshots. this one's not very clear, sorry. Videos will be uploaded to ladieM's-videos shortly. :)

2005-11-19T00:21:00.000-08:00

blackOUT@ GOtham Penthouse Wed,Dec. 21st Doors open @ 2000Hrs- break of dawn. DJ will spinning chart-topping R&B hits & TOP 40 hits. Presale tix @ 15 buckeroos Inclu: ENTRY + 1 FREE DRINK Call/SMS the following ppl or ME for PResale tix Get Tipsy & dance the Night away...

2005-11-11T06:12:00.000-08:00

SWEET CHILD OF MINE. A hell of week. Gd to know he's in my life now:) I love my baby. i met his brother at orchard but he wasn't my type there was one thing that i found he lacked. I was introduced to him at mustafa center. I was with my friend. A lil apprehensive at first but i took a chance. He has everything i could ever want and more. I wanted him. I had to have him. It didnt matter what it took. And now... he's there when i need him, all charged up and ready to go. he's always dressed so slick, black's his colour. just like me. he's there when i'm blue,when i was popular, when i was completely emo. all my emotions are uploaded into him. he understands and in fact prefers my in-dependence. he speaks to me in 500 different ways and it still comes off as beautiful. my friends think he's cool and that he was worth it. they interact quite often. He is here with me. throught thick and thin, and thinner. though sometimes, i accidentally cast him aside. but he's as solid as they come, and he welcomes me back with open arms. i can see right through him sometimes i even see me. we slept together,sort of i layed beside him. he fits me just fine. he's outer appearance is okay but its what's inside him that's priceless. I love you baby, you know who you are. Moral of story?- misdirection is the truth in deception. !!Cheers to Audrey whose baby is her creative. whateva.!!

2005-11-05T21:14:00.000-08:00

aimless babbling seems in order. been in a phase of plugging my player every few hours. i might be suffering from permanent hearing damage but sacrifices have to be made. these 2 days, have been filled with sinfully wrond doings; downloading and ripping music files from limewire or audrey and downloading pointless podcasts. doesnt matter what the material is in fact. Just needed it to be in my head. heard a couple of Phorous tracks which are surprisingly appealing to me- dunno how the heck she got it. When all things suck, music is my healer. nothing else works as much. Im married to my player and its a blissful marriage... so far. But player honey, I'm gonna need something more and if this continues on...well,the space is just not enough. I believe a little bigamy on my part is in order. :).

THE HOLIDAY BLUES

2005-11-01T15:03:00.000-08:00

I hate it. I dunno why. I cant explain it. Possibly its due to the constraints of being surrounded by carnivorous blood relatives who can smell an ungrateful/useless daughter a mile away, despite being cloaked in a fabric thick enough to dispense any hope of any molecules of sweat emanating into the free air. Possible its due to the never-ending questions that has its ways of getting you to make yourself sound more of an ass, as much as you take preventitive measures. I'm 17. Is that the age where you stop taking green packets? Because it sure's hell feels like it. I've worked, earned my own money and am currently self-independent, so does that criteria constitutes me being non-legible for the green packet. here's the dilemna: if you take, wont they think you're a bit too old. If you dont take, they'd think that you think that they cant afford to be giving you a green packet. Honestly, I'm just gonna follow my mood. It is also the day that we ask for forgiveness from everyone around us,families, friends etc. I find it miraculous and far-fetched that one day of saying I'm sorry and wishing well-wishes can erase what might be hurtful pasts of words that no one can just take back. " I'm sorry mum, please forgive me. i honestly didnt mean to squander away all of your life savings even after you gave birth to me 30 years ago in labour for almost 36 hours, but hey, selamat hari raya " Right.. Of course, my mum loves this holi.Its a combi. of showing off and catching up on gossips. I hate when we have guests coz then, the daughter who may have other things on her plate will be called upon to help out in the kitchen. After which, the maternal will talk boisterously so as her voice echoes through out the halls about how lazy and messy you are and that you never spend anytime at home, out late night, always on the computer. Gee, I dunno, I'm into something called PROJECTS IN SCHOOL. And then , you just have to inhale, take the tray of beverages that you frankly wish you could poison, smile in front of the guests, giggling fatuously at your maternal's lack of respect for you. No rolling of the eyes now... When, you think its safe to retire to your quarters, she yells against at the highest decibel possible to help set up the table again. you wish you were dead. So, ladies and gents, if you see me around with my head in between my ass, my pride no longer salvaged, do not cry for me. For I have fought the good fight, and even in utter defeat, there is honour. Be brave young ones. SALUTE!

2005-10-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

A was browsing throug her MEL system( the acclaimed online educational resource system that which is used by NP's reputed lecturers to save costs by getting its students to print LT notes themselves), and discovered that next semester's lecture notes, various tutorials notes have been issued out. A: oh man...its out. Shit, so many lecture notes. Now I rmb why I dun wanna go to school. B: Shut up, all of it looks fun compared to mine. A: U shut up, u have no idea what you're talking about. B rolls eyes. B: Wow, socpsy, sounds so technical. What do u learn? A: I dunno B: Eh, contemporary issues, cool2. What's it about? A: I dunno. B: Radio Production, damn cool! Do you get to do your own show or something? A: I dunno B: EH gundu! You in this course or not? Dun you yaya, everything oso dunno!How to pass? Conversation ends with A admitting defeat. Conversatinalists shall remain anonymous to protect the identity of blundering idiots and 'gundus'. Here is why B is rite about A. - A has no idea how to cite/quote/reference properly - A has to write an essay on the importance of paragraphs, not knowing in the first place why we need paragraphs. - A had the priviledge of hosting class(free) by Audrey & gang but spent the entire time daydreaming & now shall fake it thru speech com. - A doesnt understand which lectures/tutrials are on next week - A doesnt know when the $*%& they are goin to deduct fees from A's bank acc & if they will do so or not - A doesnt know which is even & odd week - A misses the ice milo more than the entire campus put together. - A worries more about the morning crowd not letting her get a seat on the bus than getting to the LT on time. - A nearly forgot her MEL/NPAL password( the last straw...) god bless MCMERs heading to sem 2.

2005-10-19T05:09:00.000-07:00

Little man, elias aka Mr Feckless & his band, the vinyl summer is playing yada yada yada...just read. pensionstate...sigh... have a preview of their sounds at purevolume, under the vinyl summer. P.S. It's free publicity e. in case i dun show.:)

2005-10-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

sore feet, heightened spirit.swivelling on my chair, staring at my laptop.pumping my ears with tracks. counting down the events on the 14/10/05. Maria called from Kelly Sv., wanting me to come down for the interview. My head was pretty banged up from last night, so I didnt understand at first. I mean for gods sake she called me at 10 am! ( note : the impact is lost on those of you who get up at the crack of dawn). But hey, WTH rite?had to be at tanjong pagar anywae. the job is mine if i wan it.again, the self sabo in me just wants to decline graciously. but,holis are ending and i might as well pick up shifts the 1st few weeks in case school gets the better of me. be wise? or be faridah? Digressing from the stipulated topic, I went for the session at the studio. Audrey wanted me to check out some tracks- mixture of pop rock and pop ballads blah blah..honestly, wasn't paying much attention.Trying to figure out what cover to do a demo, just for kicks.outlined the basics to controlling ur vox and when to stretch and when to just let flow. cant believe marcus pays for this. finished early(phew) so I could meet nad and denise and yes, Pak Andam Cum FSV boomer-Rahman at city hall. Alright, here comes the big cahuna. Get this y'all...I WAS EARLY! I know, break out the chardeneys ladies and gentlemen. Wondered into the vast pleasures of window shopping at citylink, popping in and out of HMV and MPH. Was browsing through some books when I felt a pat on the shoulder. KISHA!! The city girl misses Sabah, currently unemployed,and bored out of her freakin mind. Caught up & we kinda wanna be in the same IS class but odds are not good though. Started mouthing about meeting new ppl, making new friends yada yada. MPH was a bore so we went Suntec to check up on Hafiz (the T102 not the T110) who's working at GUESS. Personally hate the Brand, ugly and ex. But hey, benefits aren't bad. And the uniform looks like it costs just as much as some of the stock and he gets it for free.The 2 of them cant wait to get back to school for opp. reasons but I can wait. Nad was at city hall so we all went separate ways. Me to the left,kisha to the right and Hafiz...well..moved inches towards the cash register. Rahman was late.Figures. Again, the filling-denise -in- on- the- happenings ritual began, talked cock(typical). We broke fast at Penin-Sakura. Food was supercalifragilisticespialidocious.So worth it. I missed Rahman, freaking funny man.We ate with dibah's friends-kecoh u! Took train, very bumpy to geylang. On my shopping list was some kuih, on denise's list was what else: Food and nad-deng deng. Weather was kind-not too enervating. But the crowds were merciless. passed some of my juniors, even my ex-classmate selling kebaya. Got to take the recording from denise-the one she took while we stuck in a human jam. Mini-climax: 2-some fight, well not so much physical but of mouth in the middle of the street. C'mon man, forgive and forget...tis the season. feet were starting to ache, so home it was. i dunno what happened between one topic to another but next thing i knew, we were talking about porn. It did not just stop there. from that became Denise's big debut as a porn star, involving talents from schl. Mind u: we had already devulged that we were MCMERs, and the bus was packed to the max. Got off at my bus stop and GOD DAMN IT! I FORGOT TO TAP AGAIN!! for that reason only, I am willin to go back to schl for concession.

2005-10-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

spinnin through my player. ashlee simpson -i didnt steal your boyfriend -sorry ryan C -shine on -shame on me the wreckers -the good kind -long ride home(ft.tyler hilton) joss stone -fell in love with a boy Franz ferdinand -do you want to Sheryl crow(ft.kid rock) -Pictures joan -what if god was one of us gavin degraw -dreams jack johnson -flake pure volume plays the vinyl summer -bad monkey caffeine (all of the records) pensionstate( they are really good. i hate elias for knowing them :) -moment again. -ordinary 21

2005-09-27T12:40:00.000-07:00

consolidated amount for unposted transaction in statement: CSL A guy's passbook: CSL $329.90(deposit) CSL $919.20(withdraw) If you dont own a passbook, your own bank account, then you probably have no idea what I just typed. For those of you who have and never seen the following letters printed in the passbk, well, lucky you for being a smarty-pantsey. At approximately 11pm, today, I did my accounts(comprising of compiling my receipts,noting them down in bk etc). My jaw nearly dropped and booked a flight to timbaktu when I saw the words CSL and withdraw, followed by a considerable sum of money. 3 digit. No offence POSB but you guys are awful with helpful definitions.I went into a panic, flipping the pages of my financial bible and could not find a trace of that money. I had wild thoughts of the bank having taken my money to finance some pusillanimous bankrupt crook on one of damn loans. The next thought of my ex-boss having her revenged on me because I declined to work. AS opposed to being faced with a miasma of confusion, I decided to take a chill pill for about 2 minutes, read my book to distract my already stirred internals.i succumbed to my utmost desire to find my GREEN The internet is a wonderful tool of the 21st century and I stumbled upon a chatrm where the guy had a similar notion of a corrupt bank.Turns out, CSL simply means: the total amount of money you withdrew and deposited since the last time they gave you a bank statement. This happens if you dont update your passbk regularly. Lets just say that it occurred to me that my expenditure for the 1st 3 months of poly was of one pri-madonna diva with a short leash on her atm card. I can only sit and pray that that side of me remains dormant.

2005-09-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

Funny how they say, everything resolves around money. They being the individuals who either have a lot of it, or need a lot of it. Then again, when you're at the lowest point and its misery that has found you- money just doesnt help, does it? 23/ 9/05. signed a contract. work a week. gd money.but i declined. Advert consultancy needed a promoter and wat seemed 24 hrs ago- i was undoubtedly excited that I would have something predetermined to do come monday.this morning, I got up and headed to mt the girl. without sounding ridiculously superstitious,things went wrong countless times, inclusive of the fact that I was late. But then, i still went. Job was at jurong west and the hours were miserable, though the job seemed simple. Why i rejected? a) it was @ JURONG WEST and I had to get up early b) hours were nutty. morning then an unecessry break and then till nine c) i was alone stationed in a place i shall presume is hostile d) i just did not need it. option d was the deal breaker. So, by 12.30, less than 2hrs after I signed the contract to work, I knew that I wanted to break it. Headed to town-recruitexpress to put down my resume as PUSHED by a certain loved one. After the task was complete, I went to sit on the steps at ngee ann city, with an old chang kee squid head in one hand and my phone the other. On edge was what I was. the contract stated that i had to pay back the co. if I backed out, which was not lawful actually but still. Thoughts of irresponsibility and no sense of purpose was running like the motor of a ferrari. low and behold...ppl whome until they read/or dont read actually helped make my decision. Malster and lim li na. the pair rode up the escalator and no offence babe but I would recognise that red semi jacket anywhere and that blue shirt that mal wore. turns out mal just got back frm HK and lina well, is chilling like the rest of us. lina happened to be in Orchdd, and then mal came, who ltr called caleb well the story's pretty long:) we hung out at orchard, ate, listened to mal's HK ghetto stories and caught up wit hw ppl are doing. I missed mal's eating habits. nad joined us later. shopped and got a top at Zara, chilled at starbucks before we went our separate ways. was in no mood to catch a movie. nad and I headed to esplanade and we were lucky enough to catch a few bands doing an open gig by the waterfrnt. Not bad considering. Ate oily yet supremely delightful food, talked and went to see more of the bands. Cameron won nad's heart. I was just glad that they were doing this. part of some musicforgood promo. getting a job is no longer a priority bt i will try to find something. Im not exactly loaded but i have enuf to survive next sem. If i run out, can always work next sem. but, i do want to slack. when i sat at ngee ann city with 'mature' thoughts of money and responsibilty, it sucked and then like a sign lina and mal reminded me that im 17. i have the rest of my life to figure out my 'purpose'.

2005-09-20T03:25:00.000-07:00

nobody's given a wish, w/o also give the power to make it come true. Its been 7 days, a couple of hours since school closed for the sem. break. And yes, the sclacker extraodinaire has been unleashed. 'Your eyes' is so far frm completion but Im taking my time. my intitial plans to get a job have gone combust. A) too lazy to pick up the phone. B) to lazy to go for the interview if indeed step A) is complished. c) too lazy to get up and work. Then again, thnks to my bud AD, I found myself something entertaining to do today. My boy gave me the number for E-Mage intl or whatever and he said they had gd jobs/gigs/stuff for youngsters. So i figured, what the hey, had to be in town for an interview my cuz gt for me. So i went, and i scored baebeh. Im cool wit it. Got a concert to do next yr in Feb. and the money is pretty gd. But, they wanna send me to some Voc. training or something.sorry..wrong number. so yea, im an E-mage artiste or so they say. Rite now, in the midst of finding a job...reluctantly. I might not need it but i guess i got to. 11/2 mths is a long time. and it'll do me some gd. Meet ppl,make them angry, tht sort of thing. Keep it hanging y'all.

2005-09-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

LadieM got some scores to settle... went to my cuzins wedding at jurong today. It was those modern, afternoon till night, saturday wedding. I dont care what u call it, i knew what lied beneath the invitation to see the bride and groom and not to mention good food. There was no possible way for me to avoid going. From the words of my OH-SO-WISE-I'm-LIKE-YODA mom: nyari hari die, besok-besok hari kite. Pergi aje lah sekejap. No harm what... Yea...right... But, i complied, knowing I have missed too many 'reunions' this past year and i was running out of excuses.The plan was to show my face, hies here and there, eat and then get out. So much for pre-planning. From the expressway i could sense danger. A fear so unique, it is immediately triggered once you are in range. The weak had no chance. I stepped out of my ride, having made the mistake of being first to walk towards the crowd of my relatives.I scanned the surroundings of possible escape routes. Mama shop at 3'oclock and a block of flats at 9 o'clock. The wedding was under a tent at the basketbal court. malay jiwang songs were booming at the highest volume. And... There they were. A pack of women so innocently dressed that one with an untrained eye and no experience might buy into it. I knew better. Those ladies had the power to bring down a grown man in minutes. My brother was behind me, me...might as well have painted a bulls eye on my head or stick a label with writings EAT ME on my ass. They saw. I smiled. And the ritual began.They reminded me of some mafia mixed up crew/hierarchy with the head sitting in the center.Well, i did have to kiss their hands. First, came the hugs which to me was like a vacuum sucking the very life out of me. The wet kisses from the left, to the right and to the left..again. in a semi-circle direction i went and i thought i was done. But as Al-pacino put in: Everytime i try to get out, they pull me back in. The interrogation under the hot sunlight brought me back to an episode of the Sopranos. Eddie knew he was dead when they gave him a shot of vodka and the hitman smiled too nicely. TRANSLATED Makcik 1: Faridah...( note tht they have the need to drag your name no matter how long/short it is). So big already. So long never see you. So, hows school? Makcik 2 interjects: Poly right? What course? Media..something Faridah: Mass com.ngee ann poly. at bukit timah there. Makcik 3: Why so far? So near hard to get is it. Never mind lah, as long as can continue studies can la. Faridah knows where she stands if she tried to correct their POV. Makcik 2: No school today? Faridah: No, I'm having break now. 1 month plus. Makcik 3: Wah, enjoy la. What you going to do? Go holiday? Faridah: Umm, no lah( forces a giggle). Im working next week insya-allah. Makcik 4: Work again? Where? Stay at home or spend time with your mother. She gets worried sometimes when you come home late. Faridah's inner thought: I bet she does... Thank god, my trusty godmother came to rescue me. GM: Faridah, Rashid, go eat first la. Don't be shy. Their claws slowly retract and I was FREE! I learned my lesson. After i had my reward which was a plate of briyani with everything on top, i hung out with my nephs, about 200 metres away from the 'ladies'. I survived today. And with my wit and charm..oh fuck who am i kidding? my innocent looks will get me through some more. Next up: HARI RAYA..Oh my god... * love my makciks no matter wat. can't live with them, can't live w/o them.

2005-09-16T22:38:00.000-07:00

Ever watched those reality tv shows that you swore on your mommas grave, you would not because of any of the following reasons: a) its fake b) envy: coz u noe u aint never gonna win 1 million dollars c) it’s the ‘pop’ trend. I caught the ‘favourite winners’ episode of Fear factor at my homie’s place. I never laughed so hard watching any other, media giant/network reality tv show. Let me outline it. This trash-talking black chic- Olivia totally smack talking from the very start. she fumbled on the 1st stunt. Awesome. So, next stunt- had to chew live, wiggly, leafy green caterpillars oh, did I mention juicy and spit it into a funnel and the juice from it has to reach a certain level. Mind you at this point in time, we were coincidentally eating BBQ twisties. When the first guy did it, my god, you would not believe the amt of gooey,slimy juice one of damn suckers could pop out. So, hooray for him, he did it. Big dog Olivia walked away, coz she aint ‘stupid’ enough to try it. The host had to grab and toss her over his shoulders and carry her back. Her excuse was just downright childish but it made gd tv boy. Joe(host): Olivia, what’s the matter with you, you ate like bull’s rectum the last time. This is nothing. Olivia: No, this is way worse. They are alive and they’re looking at you. I mean, you got the mummy and the daddy and the kids. I mean, I eat the mums and dads, leaving the kids. I nearly fell off the sofa , chortling. Joe grabbed one of them critters and chowed down, to prove to her. So she did do it. She chewed and she spit but she lost. Aww…sad… As if the theatrics of the women were over..Summer, miss boopy-licious, decided to quit even b4 she started. Her competitor even stopped to wait for her to start, promising to give her a head start. Summer: No, im sorry, I cant do it. Competitor: You know actually, it aint tht bad. C’mon, I’ll give ya a head start. Talk about chivalry or whatever else u called it. The scaredy cat walked away. Isnt reality tv just the poo? We tot so… summary of the day: woke up, hung out with 2/5 of ergo: nut and farand. ate,hung. came back. hung some more. now im home. cool..

2005-09-15T10:34:00.000-07:00

scenario: you're at home, online because you have unlimited access and bored out of your mind because heaven knows you have zero social life. check this shit out. THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING Push your eyes for interesting light show (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things your subconscious is trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV? See how long you can hold your breath (Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible. My personal best is 2:00 (exactly). Try to not think about polar bears (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about polar bears anyway. Scratch yourself (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good? Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises. Hurt yourself (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain. Try to swallow your tongue (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) There's not much to say about this one. It is possible. Pretend to be a car (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity. Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes. Get yourself as nauseated as possible (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself"). link(only if u really need to): http://www.urban75.org/useless/bored.html

2005-09-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

is it a crime to hide whatever god gave you, hide in in the confines of your room, the comfort of your bf's flat, the soft soundproof walls of the jamming studio. - so everybody's talking abt the sedition thing blah blah. miss tan's right. I mean, im all for putting away the ppl that exploited the flaws of my race and exaggerated it to a gigantic extent but...what's to stop 'them' from putting away ppl for some other shit that other 'creative' individuals decide to express. the act is supposed to be banned in s'pore if medsoc notes serve me right. look at the greater good guys. but for now, i shall bask in excitement to see the future that lies for the damned.

2005-09-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

who da thunk it. ultra long entry. I made it, barely, through my first semester in mcm. 3 months. gone. pooff. There have been ups and downs but thru it all, my feet on the grd, my heart strong and pulsating with the blood of an MCMER. hung out with the class today. Finished paper at 10am. Went to marina and ate C. Jr. Damn, the burgers are huge. Honest to god ppl, stretch out your 5 fingers. measure from the tip of your thumb to the tip of your fourth finger. I aint kidding.I had 4/5ths of my chili cheeseburger and 9 tenths of my onion rings which dont get me started again, is the size of a 70's agogo queen's circle earings. I could not lean back. got our asses to suntec mall and began the 'shoppin voyage'. U2, G2000,FOX, TOPSHOP. My buds needed to buy stuff for therapy, presentation and some, just to hold something on their right arm. raced from city hall to far east against the boys to see who'd get there faster. THE CAB vS THE MRT. duh...girl power won. In and out of shops at far east for the rest of the aftn.met up with D and Kelvin so she cld touch up on her tattoo, which bled btw. so cool.sori. went back to taka,wisma, cant rmb now and bought nut's(nad) jacket. That was after..I dunno, forever. the pink? the blue? the pink? the brown?! the pink got the better of her. Went to wheelock plce. yes, the 'devil's penn'. Unexpectedly, bumped into aunty ellen and the gang. The 'hell penn' has transformed into some form of haven.really nice, bigger and brighter. No long queues, no screaming customers. Had a chat with aunty ellen and the ever adorable aka annoying shorty: Ruth.Linda was there. Wow, I missed them and regine. saw nizah and aisyah.I missed work. Never thought i'd ever say tht. I rmb how fast life went past everytime i was at work. Wake up, take mrt to work, serve customer after customer, book in phone, go lunch, close and go home. Ya. At times, I'd be on a high. I mean, I was 16 and I had a great paying job that not many ppl my age cld admit. i had so much phone info shit in my head, i tot i was gona explode! but then, the shit i had to deal with..hmmm... anyway, left town yes sirree, at ard 8pm. my legs are killing me. for this one wk, i shall chill. The job thing, well, cross the bridge when i get to it yea. peace y'all.

2005-09-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

to the one who was meant for this. 10 things i hate about you. I hate the way u smile, coz of the warmth u make me feel. I hate the way u laugh, coz then u make me grin. I hate that you're so nice And i repay by being mean. I hate that you're so smart And tht u noe everything. I hate that you're good-looking and when all the girls begin to stare I hate the stories u tell, coz it makes me boring by compare. I hate the way you dont notice how much u've grown on me I hate that u're my baby boy, that you're farand one and only.

2005-09-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

Hey ppl. finally got my video hosting site. click on the link ladieM-VIDEOS on my liknks. only one video up. will keep y'all updated.

2005-08-31T03:51:00.000-07:00

my heart can't possibly break if it wasnt whole to start with. Its 3am. Wednesday morning. The previous poem was jiwang. Because of you is playing over2 again. Next up: Lauryn hil-His eye is a sparrow. Taken frm the sister act 2 soundtrack. Its the one she sings with her friend in the church and one of the sisters comes in. " I sing because I'm happy" "I sing because I'm free" I actually have nothing to do. Its just I cant sleep coz my sleeping time has been screwed due to product designing and shit. Accompanied Denise to finish our stuff for gracom. I didnt do much. Least i cld do was to stay up with her. Farand's not pickin up his phone. Kinda hoping he wont, which means he'll sleep. I need to be in school by 10.30 to pass them the audio. Then, has, me and selene goin to BB to print our packaging, igroove and the sticker.After tht,I have to be back in school ard 1-2pm. Staying till I get to practise my speech for gracom and mounting and makin the prototype shit. What a glorious day, tmr will be.

2005-08-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

beritahulah mataku pedih air mata mengalir hidupku bergerak rancak tiada masa untuk ber nafas tetapi soal hatiku tidak berubah siapakah aku? siapakah kamu? jikalah kamu tahu hatiku berdebar pada masa tak tentu bila ku lihat wajahmu. ku membuatmu tertawa, membuatmu senyum, membuatmu selesa sepenuhnya. tapi ku tak ingin menjadi lebih wanita yang memegang hatimu karna ku tidak berani tidak bercinta. ku tidak bersedia. ku hanya ingin tahu apakah erti kami berdua. Ku dengar cakapan mereka siang dan malam berbisik-bisik, berjenaka. tidakkah kamu lihat? sedar? kisah? memang ku tidak kisah tidak lihat hanya ingin memahami. Ia tidak penting hanya suatu perasaan yg ku malas meneka apa yg ada, ku biarkanlah hanya tahu ku sayang mu tetapi tidak cinta, tidak sedia. *jangan salah faham abang2/cik kak2. belum jiwang lagi k.

2005-08-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

we were close. told u my dream. was being the realist. told ya it'd never come true. tht the wrld's cruel. tht i'd get rejected. u said to believe. to try. to not give up. to do something abt wat god handed to me. tried so hard to keep that. but i caved. one last time, for the right reason with u i stepped up. then i faded thinking i made the right choice. u called me stupid. now u live a dream we shared. its awesome its great i envy u u deserved it. u think im weak coz i caved. caved before i even tried. i miss u. i do. im happy, kind of. wldnt trade it for anything. happy doing wat i knew i wld yes. happy not doing wat i desired too. no. wish for more. im sad. Sad tht im me. im me with no dream. too busy being a realist. shit u. u lived. lived our dream. dont forget me. peace.

2005-08-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

1.05 am.after hrs confessions. Halfway through my gracom stuff. Touching up on my prototype- looking no diff. and I got to do my justifications, the packaging design. Hands had an itch to blog. My eyes cant blink properly coz its too dry.Redbull can in frnt of me, empty as my mind. Same 3 songs replaying on my limewire. Sweet child of mine-sheryl crow(guns & roses cover),i need you-Leann R., Just a Girl-Click 5. Cant be bothered to change it. Working on a new story again. Not sure when I'll be finished. As if time was on my side. Not sure really sure what it is too, all i know that its supposed to be about your dreams. I feel a teen inspired real life story coming. Keep you posted. Teacher's day is coming. Wont be going back I suppose.Anyway, I have no idea what to get the teachers again. Miss Ng aka Mrs Ong wants another recording. I guess I could burn a set of covers for her. But, I cant get the music in. We'll see. Worst comes to worst, she'll have to settle for just a SMS. My ass is now crammed. Its stoning all by itself.Try to finish this damn thing, sleep for a few hrs, wake up a moment at 4 am to give baby boy Farand a nudge on msn. Poor guy, he's prob drooling over his lappie now la. everyone else online is..well..i dunno. got to go piss. peace.

2005-08-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

remedy be my remedy, the base of my song, the spine of my body, the consciousness of my mind, the essence of my soul. be my saviour, the guy tht can just hang, the wing beneath my wings, the one that makes me smile, the one that makes me laugh most of all, just be mine. shit, im exhausted. i think im sick. body and mind. let me breathe the time away.

2005-08-22T04:12:00.000-07:00

Locvp test was a bust. Me sux at editing therefore me shall get tht section zero. tmr's my last chance to pump up my grade-camera handling test. Cross my stubbed fings. 36 hr filming extravaganza is finally over. From the very start, it looked like everything was going to fall aprt. My crew were hell bent that Millians had cursed us with bad and i mean real bad weather. Cable was spoilt,had to refilm the coffee shop and pavement scene again becoz of the rain,MAN aka Pak andam was late for the comlumbarium scenes,we broke a light,our cam was pmsing-messing up our time code resulting in the sudden hype of heartbeats frm everyone. But,take forever productions, we stuck it out and we grabbed every opportunity to shoot and we did it. The acting was real good and I had to commend Alyssa for her perf.The spoofs and bloopers are beyond funny. The essence of the story remained. The story we wanted to tell, is now in those 3 tapes. We just got to piece it together. back to the editing consoles ya mans!

2005-08-16T02:11:00.000-07:00

Im slouching even though my back hurts. Sweaty and exhausted, mind, body and soul.saw something today. was in 138 heading towards mandai crematorium with the gang. Pretty crowded. Sat up frnt, facing the entire bus deck. There was this malay guy, with his wife i presume and he had a huge hospital envelope. RADIOLOGY, GLEN EAGLES. Sadness i feel, were in his eyes. We complain, well most of us. School..school and more school. Grades...tests.. and more projects. Im not trying to say, I havent had my fair share of moments where i just want to scream " I cant take it anymore ". But im not usually like tht, I never was. I may be under tonnes of pressure but i wld not show it to the extent of annoyance and deja vu. Im already surrounded by tht which is ok. Here this guy, who may have a huge, gigantual problem to face and he's just sitting there. Another day on an SBS bus. Silent. I cannot noe for sure tht there's something with him or his wife but sometimes, u see things in ppl.So,Suck it up ppl, and this goes to not just MCMERs. There are times when u hit rock bottom and all u wanna do is just cry.Can, cry, Just make sure u wipe ur own tears and those tears actually make u better, not hinder you frm seeing the goal. ppl are incompetent, selfish and childish, honestly its human nature. jump on ppl, be who u got to be but get the job done.Take a break, we all need to. Know your limits. ur regrets, blog it like any norm person. This is not a talk down. its just what im saying. we have to keep each other strong.Its the only way we'll ever make a diff. in this blasted wrld, not just some1 who gives up.peace y'all.

2005-08-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

Dont wanna do Anything Don’t wanna sleep, Coz I’ll be closer to waking up tomorrow Don’t wanna leave, Coz I’ll be closer to leaving for good. Don’t wanna smile, Coz I’ll be closer to the next moment of sadness. Don’t wanna think, Coz I’ll be closer to losing my mind. Don’t wanna study, Coz I’ll be closer to being stupid. Don’t wanna eat, Coz I’ll be closer to being hungry again. Don’t wanna breathe, Coz I’ll be closer to my last breath. Don’t wanna believe, Coz I’ll be closer to losing that faith. Don’t wanna sing, Coz I’ll be closer to someone better. Don’t wanna try, Coz I’ll be closer to being rejected. Don’t wanna love, Coz I’ll be closer to my heart breaking. The midnight spell. Break it soon.

2005-08-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

dont ya miss dialogue A: dont ya miss anything abt it? the ups, the downs. the laughs, the tears. the make-outs, the fights. the talking, the starring incessantly. the insecurity, the safety. the restlessness, the comfort. the warmth, the shivers. the confusion, the clarity. the wondering, the understanding. the simplicity, the complexity. the answers, the problems. the sickness, the remedy. the secrecy, the openness. the holding tight, the letting go. the 'belonging', the freedom. the stupidity, the creativity. the embarassment, the 'not caring'. the gift, the curse. B: Nope. A: Oh. B: I'm lying. A: I know.

2005-08-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

part II I am not your princess, For u are not a king. I am not the love of your life, Coz death wont tear us apart. I am not all you think about, For every second tht you think of me, you can’t breathe. I am not the perfect girl, Coz I am all yours. I am not an angel sent for you, For even angels aren’t real. I am not a god’s present, Coz I am your past and future at the same time. I am not what makes your heart beat, For I am what that makes it stop. I am not what makes your world go round, Coz between the both of us, the world doesn’t exist. I am not whom you love, For to love is to fall out of love, I am though whom u loved, For as I say, I am your past, present and future. This post makes no sense to anyone else but me and certain emo ppl. Peace.

2005-08-13T05:40:00.000-07:00

Im not listenin. Coz all I hear is confusion. Tell me to take a chance tonight. Make me. If I walked tonight, Would I reach back home. If I danced tonight, Would I float to the beat. If I sang tonight, Would I sing the blues. If I loved you tonight, Would I ever fall out of it. If I feared you tonight, Would I fear everything else tomorrow. If I died tonight, Would I be welcomed in heaven. If I shutdown tonight, Would I be any better. If I took a chance on you tonight, Would I regret it. If I saved myself tonight, Would I be any safer. If I ran tonight, Would I just run in circles. If I slpet tonight, Would I awaken tomorrow, the same I person I was. If I left you tonight, Would you still be around.

2005-08-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

What you did: a) on valentines day, you gave me a crimson rose you made yourself. You had to buy a white,pure rose and soak it for weeks to get that intense colour variation. All the while, knowing full well it’ll only last a few days. b) On the saddest day of my life, you told me that you couldn’t promise you won’t ever leave. But you could promise that you will always be back for me. Anytime. Anywhere. Any place. c) On the day your parents rejected me, you went to confront the one who made me cry and told him that he had sinned thrice. For he had hurt me once and by doing so, hurt his own son two times over. d) On the day you shouted at me, I forgave you but you could not forgive yourself. I was your religion you said and that for a brief moment you were not faithful. e) On the day I was sick, you would not talk to me, utter a single word, not because of how I sounded but because it’ll hinder my recovery. We spoke though that day, just not in so many words. f) On the day I forgot our anniversary, you told me that it’s alright. Coz we’d have tones more for me to forget and hopefully remember. g) On the day we first met, you said that I wasn’t anyone special. That I was everything I was. The reason you gave; I had fallen for someone like you in the way I did. You were so glad I was un-special. h) On the day we first dance, you played the song that was number 1 on my birthday. It didn’t matter if you had two left ft. That night, I disappeared into your eyes and never fell asleep. I knew I had found what I was looking for. What you did to me: my heart was buried along with you. This is the stuff I do when I need to get away from designing igrooves, starring at scripts, marketing and medsoc. peace y'all.

2005-08-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

its 10pm. was doing my story board for locvp.a few minor changes. can't do much yet. forgot the shots. need D. to send the overheads. shld be sn.same old story-too much work, too little time.im afraid. tht someone will rub me the wrong way 4 the next few days and my impression towards tht person will forever be altered.pls dont make me mad.pls. body tired. mind's going haywire.yup.i feel it alrite. The blood of an mcmer pulsating thru my veins.hope u'll still see me alive for my next entry. peace yall.

2005-08-04T04:36:00.000-07:00

11week itch.. my hands are on the brink of freezing. I can barely hear my heart beat. My body is screaming for me to sleep! My mind is runnning on pure will and determination.I am at ngee ann lib. Aims: A) I will not quit in Gra.Com. b) I will not make my very last film(possibly) suck. Its the 11th week itch as JLo calls it.Its when you start becoming restless, everyone gets on everyone elses nerves, u dont get enuf sleep. I just call it the breaking point. Its what separate the mass com students and the future mass com students. It has been 12 wks, surely the paradise that u tot was mcm has vanished. get with the programme or get out. the funny thing is, im sort of excited and pertrified at the same time. Deadlines,presentations,final exams and filming. i think everyone's feeling it.We all want to pass and go on next sem with the ppl we've come to call friends. Its just not 101 if even one of us gets left behind.Im gonna squeeze in a couple of moments where we all just chill. Im wearing baju kurung to schl by the way.hees..one moment there.. im so proud of myself, coz i noe i can score if im actually half interested in the subj: marketing.just like i can easily fail editing since i dont listen or touch the console. we might be doing filming next week.omg. the crematorium scene is one thing. Im just afraid nothing will go acc. to plan. I hope i become a gd director and asst. camera girl.ahh.. shant panic. goin to just do my script and then go home and rest. tmr's a big day. peace yall.